You Know What Grinds My Gears?
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Peter Griffin brings back the famous topic which is on his mind! With all the problems facing the world today, Peter sends out his opinions on the things that really grinds his gears! If there's a topic you want Peter to cover, let him know! These opinions are strictly Peter's, not mine. Just to let you know.
1. Peter on Wrestling

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1: Peter on Wrestling**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Wrestling on TV. Why on earth do I have to see half-naked men wrestle each other like they're having gay sex. I mean, it's immoral and sick. Why do I have to sit on my ass and see this thing happen? It's like if I'm watching Greco-Roman wrestling on the Logo network. You've ever seen that channel? It's nothing but pansies and fluff. I swear if I rather watch a channel where I'd see people getting beat up just for my amusement, I'd watch COPS. That's for real men, not like the gay men you see wrestle on TV. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**Just to let you know, I am a huge fan of wrestling. I watch it 24/7 and it's actually my escape to life.**

**Anyway, which topic should you think Peter would cover next? I will take requests on PM or reviews! Anyway, feedbacks are welcome!**


	2. Peter on Justin Bieber

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2: Peter on Justin Bieber  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Justin Bieber. Apparently, that dopey little haircut he had when he was a teen makes him look like more of a huge fart. I'm not kidding, it's like he wiped up a poo-stain, colored it burnt sienna, and stuck it on top of his head. That makes him a crap-head. Oh, and it's music is crap. It smells much worse than his haircut's worth. If I want to listen to music that's worth my taste, I'd listen to Earth, Wind &amp; Fire, America or KISS. But Justin's Bieber's music? Send that crap-filled crap in the toilet. Oh, and his haircut can go in the toilet as well. It smells worse than Meg's hat. And that is what really grinds my gears."

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**Tell it like it is Peter. Justin Bieber sucks anyway. I'm a smooth jazz person myself.  
**

**Anyway, what do you wanna see Peter cover next? Feedbacks are welcome and appreciated! ^_^**


	3. Peter on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3: Peter on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? The Ice Bucket Challenge. It's a silly little spectacle where morons dump ice water on themselves, just to make a show. Yeah, I know it's for a cause for people who have Lou Gehrig's Disease, but couldn't we do something different for our lives? I don't know, like sex? That's sounds way better than dumping ice liquid on myself. Besides, I'm very certain that your balls would shrink like a shriveled grapefruit should someone try it. Knowing that I can't stand the Ice Bucket Challenge, I created something that's better than that crap. I created the Acid Bucket Challenge, where you dump a bucket of acid on someone for a cause. We tried it on Meg, and she's in the hospital for third-degree burns. Anyway, if you want shriveled grapenuts, then try the Ice Bucket Challenge. I'm gonna have sex instead. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**I'm certain no one would ever want to try the Acid Bucket Challenge. Sounds painful and deadly.  
**

**Anyway, give me your suggestions! Until then, feedbacks are welcome! ^_^**


	4. Peter on Nicki Minaj

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4: Peter on Nicki Minaj  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Nicki Minaj. If you already seen her, it's like a black Lady Gaga but with fat all injected in her butt. Have you ever seen her butt? It's like two double Whoppers attached to your ass. Thinking about double Whoppers makes me hungry though. But I'm not here to eat, I'm here to talk about Nicki Minaj. I would so do her. The only thing I hate about her is her music, though. It nearly sounds like two dying birds having sex with each other. I'd listen to Ariana Grande instead, but that isn't worth it either since she dresses a lot like a whore. So, maybe she and Nicki are whores. But I'd do both of them, no matter what my wife Lois thinks. And that is what really grinds my gears."

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**I'd agree with Peter about that situation, especially when Nicki Minaj is in that "Anaconda" video. Now that's hot!  
**

**Anyway, keep those suggestions coming! Salud! ^_^**


	5. Peter on Frozen

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 5: Peter on Frozen  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Frozen. I don't understand why so many people are so addicted to that movie. The plot involves a sister who travels with Owen Wilson and they have to find the hot babe with ice powers so that they could stop an eternal winter. I haven't seen it until just this yesterday when Meg got it on DVD. And after seeing it, I would do the ice chick. I think her name's either Elsa, Ella, or Elephant, but I'd do her. I don't care if I cheat on my wife, I want that hot sexy bitch all to myself. So far, hate the movie but I love the hot blonde ice chick. I'd do her sister too. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**Yeah, I guess many guys would find Elsa hot with that sparkly blue dress. Anna's alright too. I like her.  
**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics in! Salud! ^_^**


	6. Peter on Bob's Burgers

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 6: Peter on Bob's Burgers  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Bob's Burgers. I don't know why it's so funny. The title doesn't even do justice, considering it's all about a fat middle-aged man with a moustache with a wife that sounds too much like a gay guy. And have you even checked out their children? The tall one looks like a more nerdy Meg with a Beatle haircut, the son looks like a short, yet fat George Harrison, and the younger daughter wears bunny ears for a hat. I don't know why, but putting bunny ears on your own daughter sounds like they wanna pose for Playboy magazine. Imagine if your 10-year old daughter poses for a nudie magazine. That's child pornography and that's sick, even on my standards. Why name your show "Bob's Burgers" if they're not centered on the burgers themselves? I wanna see burgers sizzle, not having to see a conversation of people inside a low-down burger joint. If I want to see food sizzle, I'd watch anything on the Food Channel. For Bob's Burgers, I hate shows that fool me because of the title. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**Truth is, I watch the Food Channel. Huge fan of Trisha's Southern Kitchen here!  
**

**Keep bringing those topics in! LATER! ^_^**


	7. Peter on Charlie Sheen

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 7: Charlie Sheen  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Charlie Sheen. I don't know why I brought that up, but it's something about him that makes my innards chill like frozen turds. Is it that drunken glare in his eyes whenever he's in mugshots. Is it that annoying catchphrase that keeps getting into our brains every night and day? You know, with all of that 'WINNING' this and 'WINNING' that? Or maybe the way he sleeps with sluts out of all sizes, whether they're small or large, beautiful or ugly, white or black, flat or busty, young or old, teenage or elderly, diseased or mentally challenged, or skinny or thick and curvy? I don't know why I'm trashing him like this, but I do have one reason why he really grinds my gears: I hate the way I absolutely frickin' love him. That guy is like an acting god. I would worship the ground that guy walks on. And 'Two And A Half Men' f***ing rocks. Way better than that awful Full House. Maybe I should be talking about how awful 'Full House' is instead. Anyway, that's what really grinds my gears."

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**Who knows, maybe I'll cover Full House in a future chapter. Anyone agree?  
**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics for me! C-YA! ^_^**


	8. Peter on My Little Pony

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 8: My Little Pony  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? My Little Pony? I don't get why guys are starting to love the girly crap. I mean, us men like things like sports, beer and kicking ass, but My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic? Where is America coming to? Instead of looking up to our President, we look up to six colorful ponies who promote friendship and honesty towards others. So far, we got a pony with a cowboy hat with Apples on her ass, a pony with three diamonds on her ass, a pony with balloons on her ass, a pony with butterflies on her ass, a pony with rainbow-colored lightning on her ass, and a pony with stars on her ass. Are they tattoos? How right is it to tattoo a horse like that? That's animal abuse people. So far, I don't support anyone who tattoos their horses. Unless if it's a retarded horse, then it's fine by me."

"Worst of all, there's a male My Little Pony fanbase out there called Bronies. Of course, they're the kind of people who discuss about ponies, talk about the episodes they've seen, and share some fan-made ponies that they've created. If those are the kind of people we're gonna look up to, then do what's right with you. But it's not gonna be fun when nuclear rain pours on the rest of this country, full of fire and bloodshed. All of us are gonna die and not live to tell about it because we listen to colorful ponies. Remember, that's your fault, America. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**To be truthful, I'm a huge Brony myself.  
**

**Keep bringing in those topics for me anyway you can! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^_^**


	9. Peter On One Direction

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 9: One Direction  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? One Direction. They suck dog turds. Need I say anymore? Anyway, that's what really grinds my gears."

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**I agree, even though that was only one statement with only one paragraph.  
**

**Anyway, keep coming with those topics! Salud! ^_^**


	10. Peter on Miley Cyrus

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 10: Peter on Miley Cyrus  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Miley Cyrus. I don't know what to say about her? We first see her touching hearts and inspiring people as Hannah Montana, and the next thing you know, she's shaking her naked butt in front of our faces and even God himself. Like he couldn't get offended by something so vile and unhealthy like that. I think Billy Ray Cyrus should do something about this? Odds are he wouldn't do anything jack-shit except flip his mullet around. If anything else, Miley Cyrus should belong in an asylum. She's a total short-haired wackjob who looks like a gay teenager, plain and simple. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**Yeah, I never knew that about her too. Strange, huh?  
**

**Anyway, keep bring in those topics! Until then, C-ya! ^_^**


	11. Peter on Amanda Bynes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 11: Peter on Amanda Bynes  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Amanda Bynes. How on earth could a woman we know 20 years ago as a kid actor end up turning into a drunken mess of a whore? The same woman who gave us 'All That', 'The Amanda Show', and that horrible puke-eating mess that was 'Big Fat Liar' and here she is throwing those good crack bottles around New York City. And to think that my daughter Meg watches her. I cringe to see Meg in the circumstance that Amanda's in. But then, she never listens to me one bit. So if Amanda Bynes ever tries to urinate on a mailbox while being drugged and laced with PCP, then I'm certain Meg would do that too. Just not in my mailbox. And that my friends, is what really grinds my gears."

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**Yeah, I never knew that about her too. Strange, huh?  
**

**Anyway, keep bring in those topics! Until then, C-ya! ^_^**


	12. Peter on 19 Kids and Counting

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 12: Peter on 19 Kids and Counting  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? That show _'19 Kids and Counting'_ on TLC. Just exactly how many kids is that balloon pumping out? It's like a frickin fastball machine just shooting baby after baby after baby. And you wanna know the scary part about that? All of those kids look just like the frickin' mom and dad themselves. I'm not gonna lie, but those kids look like they could be clones! Heck, those kids look exactly like Mom and Dad if they were at least five or ten years old. You ever seen their dad? It's like a clown without any makeup. All in all, it's a boring show, nothing funny or exciting happens, and I hate it when the kids on that show cry and s**t their pants. Therefore, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, unless if the deaf and dumb are willing to stomach through afterbirths of another Duggar. As for me, I'm a Duck Dynasty man all the way. That's the show I prefer other than _19 Kids And Counting_. But, there is one thing I do appreciate about that show however: It's the moment when it's over. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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**Yeah, I'm not such a fan of 19 Kids and Counting either. Just like Peter, I'm a Duck Dynasty man all the way. No one beats the beard of Willie!  
**

**More topics on your mind? Just send them to me for a future chapter! Until then, C-ya! ^_^**


	13. Peter on The Hunger Games

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 12: Peter on The Hunger Games  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? The Hunger Games. I really thought that it was like a mixture of Olympics and food. You know, the idea having to toss a cookie flying high into the air, or perhaps pole vaulting into a tub of ice cream. Or better yet, how about having to run the 400 yard dash while having to grab a Subway Sandwich? I usually thought the Hunger Games were just like that. But when I saw the movie, I was f**king disappointed. It didn't show any food or all. It didn't show any burgers, fries, pizza, tacos, chicken, none of the above. It was a bunch of teenagers killing each other just for our teenagers amusement. If you're gonna call it the Hunger Games, for f**k's sake, include food in there! That way, I could imagine having to eat and compete in the same time! If you're gonna include violence and blood in which teenagers enjoy, call the film 'Kill Those F***ers Now'. Which I plan to do because of the way I was tricked by the title itself. And that is what really grinds my gears."

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**No offense, but I'm not exactly a fan of the Hunger Games myself. I don't know why, but I'm just not. Nothing personal.  
**

**Anyway, got any topics you thought of? Just let me know! Until then, peace! ^_^**


	14. Peter on Soap Operas

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 14: Peter on Soap Operas  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Soap Operas. All of them include the same damn thing: Cheating, having sex with someone's wife, bribing and blackmailing someone, killing off a bitch who murdered your wife, and mindless sex under the bed covers. You wanna make soap operas interesting? Include frickin' soap in there while's someone's singing off-key. Even so, I wouldn't want to be caught dead watching it. Maybe Lois is used to that sorta thing. Having someone sing like a retard while having to be scrubbed with Dove soap. Maybe it's alright if it's a hot chick doing that. And that is what really grinds my gears. Oh, and P.S., The Bold And The Beautiful is better than all soap operas out there. So suck it, General Hospital."

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**Yes, to be truthful, I also speak the language of B&amp;B, hands down.  
**

**More topics on your mind? Just let me know! Until then, WOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^_^**


	15. Peter on Brock Lesnar

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 15: Brock Lesnar  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? Brock Lesnar not defending the WWE Title frequently. He's the same guy who became the 2002 King of the Ring, who at one time became the youngest WWE Champion in history at age 25 (that honor now belongs to Randy Orton, who won the WWE title at 24 years old), became the UFC champion, and just recently, became the '1' in 21-1 when it came to ending Undertaker's streak at WrestleMania XXX. Just now, he won his third WWE Championship against John Cena at Summerslam. And now, he's busy sitting on his lazy lardass doing nothing. He doesn't defend his title often, he doesn't fight often. Instead, Brock Lesnar spends his time taking craps the size of his entire butt while watching latinas shake their booties while riding rods. Yes, I know it's sexual to explain why, but I guara-damn-tee you that's what Brock Lesnar's doing. My advice to you Lesnar, is to get off your lazy bum and get a damn brain. I'm certain Stephanie McMahon's got an extra brainstem somewhere. And that is what really grinds my gears."

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**Tell it like it is, Pete!  
**

**Got more on your mind? Let me know, broskis! Until then, WOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^_^**


	16. Peter on Monster High

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 16: Peter on Monster High  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? Monster High. You don't know what Monster High is? Well, let me bring you up to speed. You ever watch those classic monster movies back in the day? What happens if those classic movie monsters had kids and grew up to be sexy high-class whores that went to a high school? I don't understand why their freaky kids dress like strippers? It's like Mattel's supporting child pornography by making them dress sexy. Characters like Frankie Stein, Spectra Vondergeist, Abbey Bominable and Clawdeen Wolf have no business being in high school. They're monsters. They're supposed to scare the s**t out of s**tless people and whatnot. Therefore, monsters are ugly and smell bad enough to make it look like my daughter. Despite that, I wanna do them hard. And that is what really grinds my gears."

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**Yeah, I do agree those Monster High girls are pretty much bangable with the racy outfits and all.**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics! Until then, woohah!**


	17. Peter on John Cena

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 17: Peter on John Cena  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? John Cena. I don't get why fans like him on Monday Night RAW. Maybe because everyone thinks he resembles and raps just like Marky Mark from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. If you don't even know who Marky Mark is, then I suggest you pull out a time machine out of your ass and head back to the 90's. Believe me, if you even tried to pull one out of your ass, you'd bleed and die considering how large it is. Anyway, back to John Cena. Why say 'The Champ Is Here' when you don't even have the frickin' WWE title. I don't understand? If you don't have the title, then you have no right saying those four words. Hell, if Brock Lesnar is WWE Champion, then he should be the only one saying it. And I'm not even a big fan of both of them. Besides, if you ask me, John Cena looks a lot like a dyslexic Joe Swanson. And yes, I am slamming my best friend on the air, no matter how crippled or retarded he is. And that is what really grinds my gears."

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**Peter's so gonna get his ass kicked by Joe after this is over, believe me.  
**

**Got more topics on the mind? You know what to do! Until then, C-ya!**


	18. Peter on Country Music

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 18: Peter on Country Music  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? Country Music. Where in the hell is this kind of music going to these days? Back then, we had artists like George Jones, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams Jr., Waylon Jennings, Randy Travis, Vince Gill, Tanya Tucker, Glen Campbell, George Strait, Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Reba McEntire, Trisha Yearwood, Toby Keith, Kenny Rogers, Eddie Rabbitt, Crystal Gayle, The Oak Ridge Boys, The Judds and Alabama sing songs that involving break-ups, love songs, and something that was to do with raping someone in the middle in the night without any conviction. Okay, that last part's not true, but I'm certain any sexual pedophile would be used to that. Suddenly, country's turned all sexual thanks to artists like Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Gretchen Wilson, Florida-Georgia Line and Luke Bryan. It's like a whorehouse inside the Grand Ole Opry. Someone should kick their ass and tell them to bring back traditional country music. You know, the kind of music that is wholesome, romantic, boot-scootin and depressing, not this excuse of smut. I swear, if I hear someone singing something about getting f***ed in the ass, I'm gonna start rioting. And that's what grinds my gears."

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**I don't know, I kinda like it myself.**

**Anyway, now that review is over and done with, you know what to do. Oh, and keep bringing in those topics. Cheers!**


	19. Peter on Five Nights at Freddy's

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 19: Peter on Five Nights at Freddy's  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? Five Nights at Freddy's. I haven't checked out what this thing was, until I found out for myself that this was some weird point-and-click game. Get this, you're an employee stuck inside some kiddy pizza place and you have to survive against a bunch of robotic Chuck E. Cheese rejects for the rest of the night. Why is that scary? It's like strapping a Christian to a car seat while making him endure a movie full of violence, gore and hardcore sex. Once they have the images strapped to their mind, they're not gonna get it out. Having the idea of being trapped inside a pizza place while being surrounded by a robotic bear, bunny, chicken and fox waiting to kill you is way too cheesy for me. How can they even kill you when they're machines and they don't even move? Not in this game. They move and they kill you. It's just that simple. I played it and the next thing I knew, I had to get a beer. I rather be doing that than play this game. Then again, Cheesie Charlie's is scary enough than this game itself. I still s**t my pants every time I see the mascot, fearing he's gonna eat my c**k. Boy, I tell ya, that really grinds my gears."

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**Truthfully, I never played the game myself, yet I plan not to. Sorry, it's just the way it is.  
**

**More topics on your mind you want Peter to cover in a later chapter? You know what to do! Until then, cheers!**


	20. Peter on Soft Rock

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 19: Peter on Soft Rock  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? Soft rock. Like the late, badass George Carlin definitely puts it, 'Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft.' Carlin could've said it any better than f***ing stone. Although I do like Peter Frampton, he's just the only soft rocker I will only listen to that sounds just this closer to hard rock. REO Speedwagon also counts too. Same goes for Foreigner, Styx, Chicago, and America. Those bands are okay too. To those who I didn't mention in the soft rock genre, you can go eat a bowl of f**k for dinner with s**t on the side. And that my friends, is what really grinds my gears."

* * *

**To be honest, I really like soft rock. You should say that it helps me out with my stories much better  
**

**More topics on your mind, just let me know! Cheers!**


	21. Peter on Comic-Con

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Peter on Comic-Con  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Comic-Con. Why on earth am I trashing Comic-Con? For starters, it's like Halloween without the frickin' candy. Yeah, there seems to be sneak peeks of superhero movies coming out and brand new comic books, just to take a peek at before everyone else. There was a time I used to love it considering I was dressed like part of the A-Team, but considering all the trouble that I caused, I now have total disdain for it. It's like having to imitate what you see on TV and dressing up as them, just to kill the slightest sucker standing beside you. Imagine someone going as Jason Voorhees from 'Friday The 13th' and imagine him hack-and-slashing every teenager that walks before him. And we just had a horror movie convention this side of town not too long ago. Which reminds me that I need to wash the blood out of the knife when I get home. I swear when Meg touched it just to spread some butter on her toast, she might have gotten a good chance of being HIV positive. Anyway, Comic-Con really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, it was a controversial statement, considering about the HIV positive part (which by the way, is a very serious matter because everyone should learn to provide safe sex for everyone and for another way, save your loved one for marriage), but hey, it's Peter Griffin and he says it like it is.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for me? Come let me know! Cheers!**


	22. Peter on Football

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Peter Griffin on Football  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? The sport that I like to call football. This is way confusing for me to understand. Yes, I know it's a sport, but if it's called football, then why don't people play it with their feet. Why call it football when you already get your hands on the ball? We'd call it handball, except there's already a sport called handball. And guess what? You actually play the sport using just your hands! How retarded is that? You wanna know what's even more retarded? The part that I referred to when football should only be played using their feet. I found out there's a sport like that. It's called f***ing soccer. So if you can't even play football with your feet and hands, we can always play it using your d***s. Which by the way, we need a new name for football. And I got the perfect name for it: D***ball. That oughta be good. Anyway, football grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree, sports like that can be so confusing.  
**

**More topics on the mind? You know what to do! Cheers!**


	23. Peter on MTV

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 23: Peter Griffin on MTV  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? MTV. I mean, it used to be cool with music videos playing non-stop. You'd see a lot of fart jokes from Beavis &amp; ButtHead, see s**t go down in the Real World, throw your dukes up with shows some Headbangers Ball and YO! MTV Raps, and see awesome music videos with sluts shaking and popping their booties with our pleasure. So why am I hating on MTV? I'll tell ya why? They're nothing but infested with reality shows. If you show any show where someone's bound to get drunk and perform rape on a teenage female, I ain't watching it, plain and simple. They need to go back to the original MTV, the kind of MTV where music videos are shown non-stop and not even one reality show is shown on there. I don't care if my daughter f***ing cries when shows like Finding Carter and Teen Wolf are pulled from the air. If she's got a problem, then go fall off a cliff. I'd do the same if I've been watching Miley Cyrus twerk. And that's why MTV now grinds my gears."

* * *

**You got that right, Peter. We need to bring back that kind of MTV back.**

**You got more topics? You know what to do! Later!**


	24. Peter on Ice Cream

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 24: Peter Griffin on Ice Cream  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Ice Cream. I don't even know why they even call it that. It's definitely not ice and it's definitely not cream. When you think of the title, it's like putting a cube of ice and pouring cream on top of it. It's not the same. Instead, I think it's just a huge mashed potato mixed with food coloring. Like that's really supposed to mean something. Another thing I don't like about ice cream is the soft serve type of ice cream. I usually thought there was ice cream in the bathroom. Curiously, I had to try it out and it tasted like f***ing soap. To my disappointment, I found out that I was eating shaving cream. This is so f***ing confusing. Soft-serve ice cream and shaving cream should not look like one another! At least change the mixture with a different color, so I wouldn't have to be confused all the time. I wonder what I would look like with black shaving cream? It's like having a fluffy beard. Anyway, ice cream is what really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Always love me some ice cream, especially the Chocolate Fudge Brownie flavored ice cream. Dab some chocolate sauce on it and it's chocolate paradise?  
**

**Got more topics? Just let me know! Later!**


	25. Peter on Black Friday

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 25: Peter Griffin on Black Friday  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Black Friday. If the rest of you uggo's don't know what that is, it's the biggest shopping season that occurs after Thanksgiving. That's when prices are slashed half-off from every retail store there is. That's almost cheap as it is. Why in the hell do people call it Black Friday? Should we at least paint ourselves black on Friday? Well, that wouldn't happen since there's a good chance of offending the black man. Anyway, Black Friday should not exist. It just feels wrong to include a post-Thanksgiving holiday where anything racial is involved. If you want a post-Thanksgiving holiday so bad, have F**k-all-night Friday. That sounds way sexy and racy than Black Friday. Anyway, that's what really grinds my gears."

* * *

**F**k-all-night Friday? Sounds interesting.  
**

**Got more topics on your mind? You know what to do! Cheers!  
**


	26. Peter on Ariana Grande

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 26: Peter Griffin on Ariana Grande  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Ariana Grande. What the hell happened to her all of a sudden. She used to be this sweet red-headed idiot on the Nickelodeon hit shows Victorious and Sam &amp; Cat, and the next thing you know, she's a red-haired whore wearing corset just to tease us for attention and make our d***s rock hard. You know what, forget Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus getting help, Whoriana Grande needs help the most. If she ever comes to my house and teases me with her annoying cleavage, I'm kicking her straight in the sweet spot. That my friends is what really grinds my gears."

* * *

**I know it wasn't much, but hey, it's Peter Griffin.  
**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics. C-Ya!  
**


	27. Peter on Lance Armstrong

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 27: Peter Griffin on Lance Armstrong  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Lance Armstrong. The same guy who inspired everyone with cancer to 'live strong'. The same guy who practically won a million medals in Tour De France. A cycling legend at best. He could've been a legend if he didn't cheat on his damn drug tests. I swear, Lance Armstrong cheats as much as Bill Clinton cheats on Hillary. What's difference is that Lance likes juice and Bill likes whores. That's what we need. We need a lot of cancer patients doing a lot of dope, crack, pot, and marijuana just to get strong and inspire a generation. Live strong, you say, Lance? You should change your slogan to 'Live Wrong'. That's what you always do. Thanks to you, baby Stewie smokes now. And that my friends is what really grinds my gears."

* * *

**If there was a Hall of Shame, Lance Armstrong would belong there. Good thing I never watch cycling. It's way too boring for me to watch.  
**

**Anyway, got any more topics? You know what to do. C-Ya!  
**


	28. Peter on Good Luck Charlie

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 28: Peter Griffin on Good Luck Charlie  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? The show "Good Luck Charlie" on the Disney channel. I just don't get it. I just don't get why the show's centered on a 2-year old waiting to explore the world. If the show's called 'Good Luck Charlie', why couldn't they just focus on the baby instead? I really don't care about the other characters by the way. I mean, who cares about the dad? I mean, the guy's nearly fat and bald, and he's more lame than an old_ Jackass_ joke. The older son's a bit of a bum, and his hair makes him look like a blonde Beatle. The younger son in that show sucks and it's not worth jacks**t mentioning, even though he looks like a little imp. So far, there are only two good things on that show, the hot mom and the hot older daughter. I could imagine myself in a hot tub with them and they're with me, making out with one another, toss out all the underwear and make a dirty sex video of our threeway. That video would be the t**s. Anyway, show sucks. End of story. Good Luck Charlie grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I really got to admit. I do watch Good Luck Charlie as well. And who cares? I like the show myself.  
**

**Anyway, bring me some topics if you want. Later!  
**


	29. Peter on Sharks

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 29: Peter on Sharks  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Sharks. They're frickin' everywhere. In the oceans, on the television and movies, around our aquariums, across the hockey rinks, flying around in tornado formations and stuffed inside tin cans. Eeyup, everyone can't get enough sharks for one day. Except me. Sharks are like dolphins but with teeth so sharp like a frickin' ginsu knife. What's worse than that is that there's a week dedicated to them on Discovery Channel every damn August. Who wants to spend 24 hours having to watch flesh-eating bastards maim every poor living creature that's been living in the deep blue sea, especially the mentally retarded angelfish? Not me. I still even dread the slightest chance of having a shark eat me up in my sleep. And you wonder why I still sleep with my head covered to this day. Anyway, sharks grinds my gears."

* * *

**Truth be told, Sharks really creep me out too.**

**Got more topics on your mind you want Peter to cover. Let me know. Cheers! :D**


	30. Peter on Ever After High

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 30: Peter on Ever After High  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Ever After High. Just exactly how many high school-themed dolls do we need in this day and age. First we had Monster High, then we had the My Little Pony spinoff called Equestria Girls, and then, we have Ever After High, where you have sons and daughters of famous fairy tale characters. Why in the hell do I care about that? Why cant for once we live in a life without dolls? You know, the kind of dolls that resemble a bunch of girls being friends, hanging out in malls and chasing out those man-whores known as boys? I would definitely live a life without them. You know, the guy stuff. Like football, beer, porn-stars, baseball, apple pie, and action figures for boys. So far, don't care about Ever After High. It's a knock-off, rip-off and it remains s***ty ever after. Although, there is one thing I do like about it. I like how Maddie Hatter acts drugged and f**ked up. But still, Ever After High grinds my gears."

* * *

**As much as it hurts me to say this, but I am a huge adult fan of Ever After High. I don't know why, but I just am.  
**

**Anyway, have more topics you want Peter to cover next, just let me know! Cheers! :D**


	31. Peter on Gravity Falls

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 31: Peter on Gravity Falls  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? "Gravity Falls" on the Disney Channel. Yet, it's another one of those shows that still confuses me with the title. If you're gonna name the show 'Gravity Falls', can you actually make gravity fall from the sky? They would have, but instead, all you have was two kids, an uncle with a fez on top of his head, and a retard with a question mark on his shirt solving mysteries in a quiet little town. Doesn't that remind you of something? Because clearly, Disney Channel must've stolen elements from a show I used to watch in the 90's called 'Twin Peaks'. Yeah, 'Gravity Falls' is definitely like 'Twin Peaks', except that nobody gets murdered, hacked, or stuffed in a body bag. Instead, it's just some supernatural s**t floating all around Disney Channel's toilet. Still, with things included in a show that gets me confused by the title, I still wouldn't watch it. Makes me feel like everyone would be stuck to the ground while gravity's falling. I wonder what basketball's gonna be like if someone were to do a slam dunk without any gravity at all. Boy, I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I agree shows can be confusing to me too.  
**

**Got more topics you want Peter to cover? You know what to do! Cheers! :D**


	32. Peter on Nickelodeon

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 32: Peter on Nickelodeon  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Nickelodeon. Why has it gotten all bad? I mean, back in the 80's, it was dope and out of sight. With shows like Double Dare, Super Sloppy Double Dare, Family Double Dare, You Can't Do That On Television, All That, Nick Arcade, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Kenan &amp; Kel, Hey Arnold, Rocket Power, Wild Thornberrys, SpongeBob SquarePants, Rugrats, Doug, Rocko's Modern Life, Ren &amp; Stimpy, Drake &amp; Josh, iCarly and Victorious, it was an exciting time. But somehow, I feel like it isn't Nickelodeon anymore. So far, we see less cartoons and more live-action shows. I swear, this is turning into MTV again with less music videos and more reality shows. I hate the new shows that Nickelodeon has. We have "Max &amp; Shred", which is about a teenage scientist and his brother of a snowboarder. Not fun. "Breadwinners" on the other hand, stinks worse than the part where they eat s**t in one of the episodes. I'd avoid it. And about "Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn"? I'd rather "S**t, poop, vomit and pee" all over the show rather than watch it. It's like Full House, it's not even that remotely funny. At least Disney Channel does those sitcoms justice, and I don't even watch it. Honestly, I think Nick should change it's name to D**k, because that's what it is when it comes to robbing our childhoods. I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I didn't have much to say about Nickelodeon as well. Although, I do tolerate Sanjay &amp; Craig. That show's all right.  
**

**More topics you want Peter to cover in a future chapter? Let me know! Cheers! :D**


	33. Peter on CM Punk

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 33: Peter on CM Punk  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? CM Punk. I don't know why the hell would he leave WWE without informing any wrestling fan that he was leaving. Next thing you know, he was in the Royal Rumble getting chokeslammed by Krappy Kane and the next thing you know - poof - he was gone in an instant. Not that I haven't watched the Royal Rumble, because I've already told you once that wrestling grinds my gears. However, I'm bringing up CM Punk because he's a disappointment in my eyes and everyone around the WWE Universe. If you wanna get out of the business so damn bad, then at least address the fans and tell them you'd be gone, otherwise you're have a lot of angry 10-year olds go out killing everyone, just to get a stinking CM Punk autograph. I remember what I felt when I went out rampaging to get in a Who concert. When they finally let me in, I accidentally stepped on a brain-dead retarded kid, therefore killing them by accident. You imagine the CM Punk fans acting like that at WWE events, and you're bound to end up in the grave. But if you want to attend a WWE event where someone chants CM Punk and yet he doesn't show up, bring out a swiss army knife. That one does the most damage. Anyway, CM Punk really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eeyup, CM Punk was definitely WWE's best magic trick. Hopefully, I wish him luck with what he's doing.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter? Let me know! Salud! :D**


	34. Peter on Microwaves

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 34: Peter on Microwaves  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Microwaves. Why in the hell are they so annoying? They sound like flies having sex with a piece of crap. And don't get me started on how they sound when the food's done. If you ever had a robot scream like Little- Baby-Junior-Son-Of-A-Bitch, that's what it sounds. To this day, I still use a toaster oven to make my meals. Yes, it takes really slow to cook, but at least I can go grab a beer while I wait. Which by the way, I'm gonna go grab a Pawtucket Pat while my Hot Pocket is still cooking. Anyway, Microwaves sucks Satan-balls and it grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with you on that one, Peter.  
**

**Any topics for Peter to cover? You know what to do! Cheers! :D**


	35. Peter on Grumpy Cat

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 35: Peter on Grumpy Cat  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Grumpy Cat. Apparently, he's this huge internet sensation about a cat who's frowning all the time. I'm not gonna lie, but his face is scary. Just looking at that face gives you nightmares. When I looked at his face, I couldn't poop or pee for a week. You'd me amazed how long I held it in despite drinking all the beer in my fridge. Have you ever seen "The Ring" in where if you watch the video of a creepy girl alongside a white circle, you'd die. This is perhaps the animal comparison of "The Ring". Instead of dying, you'd get a diarrhea/piss cocktail. Believe you me, that's a shake you don't wanna try. And that's what grinds my gears."

* * *

**Huh, Peter makes extra sense. :D  
**

**More topics on your mind? You know what to do! C-YA! :D**


	36. Peter on Bugs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 36: Peter on Bugs  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Bugs. They're all so annoying. No matter where you go, there's a bug nearby making irritating buzzing noises. You ever hear a loud sex toy go off inside a room or inside your cabinet, that's what you're hearing from a bug. Just this last night, I was trying to sleep after having sex, and somehow, I heard this huge bug come inside my room. I got up and grabbed my special newspaper that I keep in my nightstand, and I started whacking away at the thing without even looking. When I looked down to Lois's bedstand, I found out I was hitting away at Lois's plastic banana-flavored johnson. Don't you just hate when things that sound like flies aren't really flies at all? My opinion is that we should get rid everything that sounds like flies, including sex toys and doorbells. But then, our wifes wouldn't satisfy themselves anymore. Well, tough f**k for them. And that's what Bugs and especially things that sound like Bugs really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I do admit it's a bit confusing. :D  
**

**Got more topics for Peter to cover in a future chapter? Let me know! C-YA! :D**


	37. Peter on Bill Cosby

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 37: Peter on Bill Cosby  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Bill Cosby. The very same man who in the 1980's, infested into our television tubes as the always coked-up, happy-go-lucky Dr. Cliff Huxtable in 'The Cosby Show'. 30 years later and we find out that he's nothing but an old skirt-chasing creep with a sweater. Imagine if Cliff Huxtable was just like Bill Cosby in real life now, and his TV wife were to find out. Then it wouldn't be "The Cosby Show" anymore, would it? I'd think not since Bill Cosby would likely be killed by Phylicia Rashad for hearing such ridiculous news as this. Imagine naming the sitcom after Theo or perhaps Rudy. They're way more likable than that old fart themselves. But then again, I'm mostly a "Married... With Children" and "Family Matters" man myself. In my mind, Cosby Show is poopy. But at least it's way better than "Full House". Anyway, Bill Cosby (aka Sexual Jello) grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with Peter on Bill Cosby. He definitely lost way more than his respect, I'll tell ya that!  
**

**More topics on your mind for the fat-man? Let me know! Later! :D**


	38. Peter on Dora The Explorer

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 38: Peter on Dora The Explorer  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Dora The Explorer. That show is so awfully retarded. Who on earth would wanna see a little Mexican girl go exploring with a talking backpack. Please explain to me why someone would leave their 6-year old to go out unsupervised? I don't know, maybe Dora's some kind of child prostitute? That's wrong and immoral. But why on earth does a backpack come alive and talk? Maybe a midget's hiding in there and he's flapping the lid, so that it could make the backpack talk. Or maybe the backpack's possessed by Satan, ordering you to sell out your body to hundreds of Mexican men waiting to be horny like the donkey they're riding on. I'm very positive that Satan orders Dora to slut herself for cash. That's way more than wrong. So far, I don't give a damn about the rest of the show, other than the fact that the backpack just sold his soul in order to talk. Plus, a monkey wearing boots is way more inhumane than the talking backpack. Enough said, Anyway, Dora The Explorer grinds my gears."

* * *

**Well said, Peter!  
**

**Anyway, you have more topics for Peter? You know what to do! WHOOHAH! :D**


	39. Peter on Math

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 39: Peter on Math  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Math. Tell me, why in the f**k is it so hard? It's like having to find out how many toenails there are inside a jar. Why on earth do I have to use math to figure out who's there in attendance, how many beer there is in my fridge, how many clouds I have to count in the sky. Truth is, having to figure out these problems with math is just a waste of space. How to add, subtract, divide and multiply is just a distraction from the real things in life. I wish someone would just ban math from our schools. It's okay for us to use the numbers for counting, but forcing me to figure out math equations is like giving a retarded monkey a gun for Christmas. Hopefully, you pray that he doesn't shoot anybody in the head without being stupid. And that's why math grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eeyup. Good thing I'm a grown man!  
**

**Any topics for Peter you want him to use? Let me know! WHOOHAH! :D**


	40. Peter on Fred

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 40: Peter on Fred  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? That internet sensation called "Fred". I can't tell you how f***ing annoying kid's voice is. It's so high-pitched, it makes your eardrums, eyes and butthole bleed. If you mix a banshee and one of the Bee Gees kicked in the balls, that's what he sounds like. I rather have my friends drive a sledgehammer through my brain than listen to Fred talk. I'd die with a smashed brain, but at least it's better than nothing. Oh, and Annoying Orange is bull-s**t. Both of them should die in a blender, alongside a pile of wet dog s**t that's been blended up as well. Trust me, that's a shake you don't to try. And that's what really grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with Peter. Fred sucks.  
**

**So, any topics you want Peter to cover next chapter? You know what to do! WHOOHAH! :D**


	41. Peter on Chris Crocker

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 41: Peter on Chris Crocker  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? That Chris Crocker guy on YouTube. You know, the guy who looks like a girl and crying, thinking some dog died or something. No, it's all because she told the Britney Spears haters to leave her alone. The way he says it makes your ears hurt. All that bitching and annoying she does. I actually got words for Chris Crocker himself. If I saw him, I'd tell him to light the f**k up! We don't need to hear you f**king cry and bitch all the time. Because every time you do, it makes me increase the chances of shooting my brain clean off with a shotgun. My advice to you Chris, is to shut the f**k up. And that's what Chris Crocker grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree I didn't like that video either. Then again, I don't listen to Britney Spears in the first place.  
**

**More topics you want Peter to cover in a later chapter? You know what to do! BAZINGA! :D**


	42. Peter on My Ass

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 42: Peter on My Ass  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? My ass. What can I say? It farts, it poops, it farts again, and sometimes, it sneezes s**t juice. Once, I had my daughter mistake my s**t juice for Pomegranite juice. Took her 100 breath mints to make that breath of hers clean again. I wonder what it look like if guys never had any asses in the first place? If he didn't have any asses, we wouldn't poop anymore. At least for the gay guys, they won't have to worry about being rammed anymore. And that's why my ass really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Okay, that was weird.  
**

**More topics for Peter to cover next? You know what to do! BAZINGA! :D**


	43. Peter on Nuts

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 43: Peter on Nuts  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Nuts. There are all types of nuts: Big nuts, small nuts, corn nuts, peanuts, almonds, walnuts, pecans, psychotic maniacs, squirrels, peanut brittles, nards, nads, testicles, balls, and kiwis. That's a whole lot of nuts. Imagine if you were to call salted peanuts, 'testicles'. We would be eating salty nuts that tasted like somebody's crotch rot. And who on earth wants that to begin with? Anyway, nuts suck and I wish someone would nail Mr. Peanut to the f***ing cross. And that's why nuts really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I admit nuts was never my thing to begin with. I prefer Doritos instead,  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man itself? You know what to do! BOO-YAH! :D**


	44. Peter on Underwear

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 44: Peter on Underwear  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Underwear. Why do we even wear it in the first place? It's not right. It's like having to wear toilet paper around your crotch. Heck, it's like a paper diaper. Only this time, when you accidentally poop, you get brown underwear. Good thing I don't wear underwear to begin with? You even wanna know why I wear green so much? It's because I fart so much. And I like it. Anyway, underwear really grinds my gears."

* * *

**I'm not gonna lie. Underwears are for squares.  
**

**Anyway, more topics for Peter you want him to cover next chapter? You know what to do! WOOOOOO! :D**


	45. Peter on Austin & Ally

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 45: Peter on Austin &amp; Ally  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? "Austin &amp; Ally" on the Disney Channel. I hate how the blonde guy on the show has a scary smile. It's so wider than a frickin' football field. Yeah, I agree the guy's talented enough to be a rockstar, but every time I have to see that smile of his, I shiver to death. I'm telling ya, Ross Lynch's smile is so scary enough to make him a movie monster. And about that Ally girl, I will admit that she's hot, even for a teenager. Yeah, she may be 19 years old and I'm only 40 years old, but if I were to find the fountain of youth to age back 20 years, then I would so hit that. I know it's weird, but I think that Ally chick is so bangable. So far, the show should be called 'The Ally Show", instead of just "Austin &amp; Ally". To be clearly honest, Ross Lynch is actually Dove Cameron with a sex change. Plain and simple. And that's why "Austin &amp; Ally" grinds my gears."

* * *

**I do admit I like the show myself. That and "Liv &amp; Maddie" as well. Who knows? Maybe I might have Peter grind his gears on "Liv &amp; Maddie" next.  
**

**But it's all up to you! What do you think? Feedbacks are welcome! WOOOOOO! :D**


	46. Peter on SpongeBob SquarePants

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**P.S.: For many of you who didn't know who Dove Cameron is (because of a reviewer didn't know in the reviews section), she's an actress who stars in the Disney Channel sitcom, Liv &amp; Maddie. If you haven't checked it out, go see it. She is that beautiful.**

* * *

**Chapter 46: Peter on SpongeBob SquarePants  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? SpongeBob SquarePants. Remember when I was trashing Austin &amp; Ally and mentioned the part about Ross Lynch's creepy smile? The way this sponge smiles gives you chills around your d**k. It's so scary it makes you pee yourself until you can't pee anymore. And the way he laughs is so irritating. Hearing that makes you wanna grab your syringe needle and stick it right on your arm, killing you on impact. I haven't seen the cartoon until recently, and to be honest. He looks like a gay bucktoothed child. My advice to that homoerotic sponge in the sea: Get straight, stop acting like a child and grow... the f**k... up! This is the 2010's. It's not f**king 1999 anymore. No one should have to act like gay homoerotic children like SpongeBob SquarePants here. And that's why he grinds my gears."

* * *

**Amen to that, Peter.  
**

**Got more topics for him in a later chapter? You know what to do! WOOOOOO! :D**


	47. Peter on Barney The Dinosaur

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 47: Peter on Barney The Dinosaur  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Barney the Dinosaur. I don't have anything to say about that fat dinosaur freak. But I'm gonna explain it in a very long rant. He looks like a big horse turd colored in purple spray paint while having fake eyes attached to him and a kid puking green vomit on the center of it. That's it. Oh, and the way he loves us makes me poop a duke while passing a kidney stone at the same time. Which wasn't pretty because my penis bled for a good hour or so. And that's why Barney The Dinosaur grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with you, Peter.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for Peter to cover? Feedbacks are welcome! 'Til next time, C-ya! :D**


	48. Peter on Mexican Food

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 48: Peter on Mexican Food  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Mexican Food. Yeah, we're talking about tacos, burritos, carnitas, carne asada, chili con carne, chips, salsa, chimichangas, sopapillas, and huevos rancheros. Truth is, those kinds of foods causes me gas. The last time I ever went to a Mexican restaurant, I ate so many bean burritos that I blew a huge fart around the entire guests and waiters. I think the fart fumes actually got to Meg's lungs. From there, she was clinically dead around four hours. Imagine how long it took to get my daughter's lungs to start breathing again. To this day, I still don't go to Mexican restaurants. Because I know deep down I'm gonna have a high chance of getting myself killed with my own fart gas. And that's why Mexican food grinds my gears."

* * *

**I actually like Mexican Food, so I'm not bothered by it.  
**

**Got more topics for Pete? Let me know! C-ya! :D**


	49. Peter on Caillou

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 49: Peter on Caillou  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Caillou. If you haven't heard of him, he's this five-year old Charlie Brown reject who always whines and cries whenever he doesn't get his way. Imagine if you kidnapped Curious George and shaved him with a razor, while stuffing him with kids clothes. Believe me, this is a show only the retarded three year olds will watch with the only message on the show is how to do the right thing. What is the right thing anyway? How to eat dog poop? I'm certain three year old kids do that anyway. Anyway, Caillou sucks retarded dog s**t, and it grinds my gears."

* * *

**You wanna know something? I actually like Curious George. I've been reading his books since I was eight. He's one heck of a funny chimp.  
**

**More topics for Peter you wanna give to him? Let me know! Till then, happy new year! :D**


	50. Peter on New Yorkers

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 50: Peter on New Yorkers  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? New Yorkers. Why on earth do they sound like retarded apes? I mean, you can hardly understand what the hell they're saying. And the fact that they even smell bad is way more worse than Herbert's genitalia or perhaps the Greased-Up Deaf Guy themselves. I don't ever know why I went to New York in the first place, considering why the Empire State Building looks like a damn syringe needle. And I don't care if I'm trashing New York's people, I'm saying it like it is. If ya don't like it, y'all can suck my b***s, the Boston way. That's right, New Yorkers. Boston beats NY any day of the week. And our cream pies are delicious. Just ask Lois why I gave her one last night. Anyway, New Yorkers really grinds my gears."

* * *

**I'm very certain that Peter's not referring to a tasty treat.  
**

**Any more topics for Peter to cover in a future? Let me know! Until next time, C-YA! :D**


	51. Peter on Your Mom

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 51: Peter on Your Mom  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Your mom. Wanna know why I brought her up? Because I f**ked her last night. Take that, teenagers. And that's why your hot mom grinds my gears. But in a really hot way."

* * *

**Eeyup! Tell it like it is! I'm certain every teenager watching this must be horrified.  
**

**Anyway, you got more topics for Peter that come to mind? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	52. Peter on a Special Announcement

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 52: Peter on a Special Announcement  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Nothing. I just wanted to make this special announcement because I had nothing to do on a spare time. I was gonna masturbate, but since we're on the air, I'm not gonna do that. I'm taking this time to apologize for my comments about moms. Apparently, one viewer in Georgia was so offended by the subject, knowing that his mother had cancer. For that, I wanna take the time to say to the viewer watching in Georgia that I'm sorry for what I've said and I hope that maybe you can forgive me. I know we're very familiar with the term 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me', but apparently in this case, words definitely do hurt us. Very much. Because of this, I may not be doing the show for so long. Because I hear that I'm gonna be replaced by a blue chimp. If you're asking, it's a chimp painted blue. It's nothing to laugh at either since that's animal cruelty. Anyway, that's my special announcement."

* * *

**I was inspired to do this since one of my reviewers was mad at me for having Peter do a subject on moms. So perhaps I might discontinue this after several more chapters.  
**

**So keep on bringing Peter more topics till then. Don't be mad if it's not the topic that you're expecting. Until next time, C-ya! :D**


	53. Peter on Life

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 53: Peter on Life  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Life. What does it all mean? Why is it so cruel? Why is it so unfair? I'll tell ya what life is: It's frickin' sweet. Nothing but booze and babes all day. Try living life with two of those things everyday. Except for the fact you're dreaming about two naked gay cowboys already. To change my mind, life officially sucks. And that's why life grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eeyup, that's life for ya.  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter to cover (hopefully it won't be a topic where he offends someone)? Let me know! BOOYAH! :D**


	54. Peter on Kane

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 54: Peter on Kane  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Kane from the WWE. Back then, I thought he was really cool with the mask on and the way he starts fires and stuff. Of course, that was back in 1998. Okay, fast forward 17 years later, and he ends up as a bald-headed doormat for The Authority. That's what he's reduced to. He went from the Big Red Monster to the Big Red Squirt with a suit. He went from being the Undertaker's brother to the Authority's little pansy. Heck, he went from the Devil's Favorite Demon to the Authority's Favorite Genital Wart. I'm very certain Paul Bearer and Undertaker are rolling in their graves watching this. Although I'm not sure Undertaker's actually a _deadman_. And that's why Kane grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I really admit that I feel the same way about Kane.  
**

**More topics for Peter you want to give him? You know what to do! BOOYAH! :D**


	55. Peter on Fast Food

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 55: Peter on Fast Food  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Fast food. I don't even get the term. I do know one thing. It's food, but it's definitely not fast. It's like a hamburger, a taco, or perhaps a hot dog growing legs and running fast. I swear, I had to wait for my ham sandwich to grow feet like magic, but instead, it just sat there being lazy like a moldy piece of dump. That's the reason why I hate topics that confuse me because of the name. In fact, the term 'fast food' should not even exist. In fact, it should be called lazy food, because it just stands there, waiting to be eaten up by a retarded 500 pounder with club foot. And that's why fast food grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yep, Peter tells it like it is. Remember, this is not _my_ opinion, only Peter's.  
**

**Anyway, got any more topics for Peter? Feedbacks are welcome! BAZINGA! :D**


	56. Peter on Jersey Shore

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 56: Peter on Jersey Shore  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Jersey Shore on MTV. Why on earth do we have to watch a bunch of Italian stereotypes have sex, do drugs, get in fist-fights, strip all of their clothes, and start humping everything they see that isn't drunk? Believe me, it's like having a child's 9th birthday party inside of a strip club. Who wants to attend that? Maybe Snooki, J-Woww, The Situation, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and Pauly D? I'm definitely sure they'll make the invitation. And they'll bring a birthday cake shaped like Snooki's boobs. She's so hot. I'd so get her in the ass. Anyway, Jersey Shore grinds my gears. Except Snooki, because she's the one I like."

* * *

**Eeyup. I agree with you on that one, Peter.  
**

**Anyway, you got more topics for the fat man himself? Just let me know! HOOTERS! :D**


	57. Peter on The Authority

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 57: Peter on The Authority  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? That crappy Authority on WWE. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about whiny bitchy Stephanie McMahon and his Squidward-shaped nose of a husband known as Triple H. How dare do they not give people what they want. And how dare them that they torture fellow WWE superstars with crap. Especially when they sic their whiny spoiled child Seth Rollins and the Devil's favorite Genital Wart known as Kane on them. And I'm so sick of them referring to Daniel Bryan as a so-called "B+" player. In my mind, Daniel Bryan is so an "A+" player because he puts on excellent matches. Seth Rollins, Kane, Big Show, and the rest of the a**hole Authority are nothing but "F-" players. You wanna know what 'F' stands for? It stands for 'F**kballs'. That's what Triple H and Stephanie are. That's why Triple H is my ass, Stephanie's my balls, and they grind my gears."

* * *

**Wow, way to rip onto The Authority, Peter! Tell it like it is?  
**

**Got more topics for Peter? You know what to do! :D**

**BTW, I wanna give out a happy birthday to the most beautiful actress in the world and one of my favorites, Dove Cameron from "Liv and Maddie"! She turns 19 years old today! Kudos to you, D.C.! Love ya!  
**


	58. Peter on Rugby

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 58: Peter on Rugby  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Rugby. Apparently, it's a sport where you have to chase a football that's running away from the players. And then, you have to grab the ball and run it right through the goal without getting your ass torn to bits by people who case you. It's like football but without the passing and kicking. I guess you could say it's like the post-apocalyptic version of handball. Is that the kind of America that we're living in these days? The kind of America that speaks of when there's nothing but kicking ass, having sex and getting high on angel dust? I'd say sign me up. I'll live in that America any day of the week. And to tell you the truth, I changed my mind on Rugby. It's frickin' awesome. The only thing that really grinds my gears is my daughter, Meg. She sucks, anyway. And that's why Meg grinds my gears."

* * *

**Good explanation, Pete.**

**Any more topics you wanna give him? Feedbacks are welcome, everyone!**


	59. Peter on Liv and Maddie

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 59: Peter on Liv and Maddie  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? "Liv and Maddie" on the Disney Channel. Basically, it's a show where two hot blonde chicks meet up together after four years of being apart. One's hot and the one is a nerdy jockstrap. And they're both played by the same chick. Which begs me to ask this question: How the hell do I really tell them apart? They look like the same damn woman. The only way I can at least tell them apart, if that Disney Channel puts a wig on one of those girls, so I wouldn't have to guess for the rest of the episode. Instead, it's all too much confusion, like which one's Mary Kate or Ashley. Or which one's Pepsi or Coca-Cola. All in all, f**k Dove Cameron. By that, I totally want to do her. She's f*****g hot and beautiful. But in reality, Liv and Maddie grinds my gears."

* * *

**To be honest, I kinda like "Liv and Maddie". And yes Peter, Dove Cameron is that hot and beautiful.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for Peter? You know what to do, everyone!**


	60. Peter on UFC

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 60: Peter on UFC  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? UFC? It's like boxing meets chicken fights. And not the kind of chicken fights where you see me having to fight a giant chicken. I'm talking about chickens pecking each other to the death. I have to say that putting two people in a cage while they're beating the crap out of each other is just considered slavery and abuse. I'll tell ya, it's like f*****g Roots, but with multiracial men and women fighting on who wins or dies. Who really wants to compete in a sport like that. I'll tell ya what's a real sport: Football. Basketball. Baseball. But UFC? Makes me feel like I ended up in the 1860's. And who in the hell wants that? Anyway, UFC grinds my gears."

* * *

**Huh, who knew?  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter? Feedbacks are welcome, everyone!  
**


	61. Peter on Glasses

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 61: Peter on Glasses  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Glasses. You know, it's like goggles, but with mini windows for your eyes. What kind of stupid invention is that? It's like someone inventing the smallest car and truck ever in existence. But wait, they already have one of those. They're called f*****g Hot Wheels. I mean, it's kinda like trying to play a video game on the road without a TV. Wait a minute, they already have one of those. It's called a f*****g Game Boy. If I were me, we should never have glasses in the first place. We're better off without them. Blind people, I'm also trashing you in that category, so deal with it, ya mice. And that's why glasses grinds my gears."

* * *

**Luckily for me, I don't wear glasses. BONUS!**

**Got any more topics for Peter that you wanna give him? Let me know, everyone! ;D  
**


	62. Peter on Teen Titans Go

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 62: Peter on Teen Titans Go!  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Teen Titans Go on the Cartoon Network. It's like you turned Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Raven and Beast Boy into talking bobbleheads. What kind of f***ed-up concept is that? It's like having to turn the entire cast of Full House into monkeys. And I don't even watch that show to begin with? Heck, it's like having to replace Charlie Sheen on "Two And A Half Men" and recasting him with that Fred kid from YouTube. And that high voice of his really pisses me off. Teen Titans is another franchise that shouldn't be messed with. Why in the hell would Cartoon Network take an awesome action show and change to something more silly and cartoony? They should've left Teen Titans alone. They should've remained it as an awesome kickass action show, not some kind of happy-sunny piece of baby crap. Believe me, that's the kind of crap you don't wanna see. And that's why Teen Titans Go grinds my gears."

* * *

**Huh, that's why I prefer the original Teen Titans anyday.  
**

**More topics you wanna give to the big guy? Feedbacks are welcome, everyone! ;D  
**


	63. Peter on Kirk Cameron

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 63: Peter on Kirk Cameron  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Kirk Cameron. If the rest of you younger fans now don't remember who that is, he was this actor who starred in a certain TV show in the 80's called "Growing Pains". Yeah, he was this fresh young face who could pull off a ginger jheri-curl like it was nobody's business. And of course, he faded away like genital warts. Fast forward three decades later and he ends up being this religious nut-job, who's gone crazy than my son Stewie drinking Holy Water. I don't know why, but that isn't the kind of Kirk Cameron we wanted back. We want the kind of Kirk Cameron that's been always putdown by Robin Thicke's daddy every Friday nights. If you don't know who Robin Thicke's daddy is, look it up on Google. You'll know what I'm talking about. Even though I don't necessary trust in his Christian beliefs, I do respect the fact that he's a terrific actor. No question about it. Teenage Kirk Cameron may not grind my gears but the older Kirk Cameron does. End of story.

* * *

**I gotta admit that the theme song to "Growing Pains" is very addictive, let me tell ya. After a couple of days, it never leaves your brain.  
**

**More topics you wanna give to the fat man? Feedbacks are welcome! :D  
**


	64. Peter on Two and a Half Men

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 64: Peter on Two and a Half Men  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? 'Two and a Half Men'. Honestly, I used to think the show was funny with Charlie Sheen running wild. But ever since he left, it's been nothing more than a mess. And now we end up with Kelso from "That 70's Show". Wait, what if Kelso found a time machine, went back to this present age and changed his name to Walden Schmidt? That was a huge possibility. And even without Sheen, the show still managed to do good in the ratings. But like I said, it was way more hilarious with Charlie Sheen. Hard to believe this was the only sitcom that lasted this long for 12 frickin years. Suddenly, the only thing not keeping this show alive for much longer is Jon Cryer's nearly balding hair. It's definitely gonna fade away just like his career.'s gonna be when this show's over. And that's why Two and a Half Men with Ashton Kutcher grinds my gears. But Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen is and always will be awesome.

* * *

**I agree with Peter there. TWAHM was way awesome when Charlie was around.  
**

**More topics on your mind? You know what to do! :D  
**


	65. Peter on Poop

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 65: Peter on Poop  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Poop. I mean, why does it smell so bad? And why is it shaped like a small little diaper covered in brown gravy? There are some things that can't be described in this subject. And why am I bringing this s**t up? It's crap! Nothing but a pile of poop that shouldn't be mentioned. I wish I should have never brought s**t up like this. It's disgusting and it needs to be flushed down the f****n' toilet. Anyway, poop grinds my gears. Yes, if you're wondering, they're all turd puns I came up with before I got on. So that solves your problem."

* * *

**Holy crap, Peter's got a point. I don't know what I was thinking choosing this subject. It's crap.  
**

**Anyway, all poop puns aside, got any more topics for Peter? You know what to do! ;D**


	66. Peter on Roman Reigns

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 66: Peter on Roman Reigns  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? Roman Reigns winning last night's WWE Royal Rumble. Apparently, it was so bad that everyone wanted to commit suicide the moment they saw him. But luckily, they got to live to see Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler come out, so not all of it was bad. But that wasn't saying much since Roman Reigns still won. And yet, a lot of people killed themselves. Mostly since they were all Daniel Bryan fans. So by the time all of you have read my rant, mostly everyone in the building killed themselves, making it the most largest mass suicide ever. Apparently, one person lived. Obviously, he was a big fan of Rusev. Roman Reigns, you may be an phenomenal athlete with lots of potential for the future, but unfortunately, seeing you makes me wanna take a dump the size of Stephanie McMahon. And that's why Roman Reigns winning the Royal Rumble grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I admit it was a disaster, hands down.  
**

**Got any more topics for the big guy? Feedbacks are appreciated! ;D**


	67. Peter on Shoes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 67: Peter on Shoes  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Shoes. I swear, it's like wearing a jacket on your feet, trying to keep warm. What kind of invention is that? Who on earth would wear something so drastic and so retarded like shoes? It's like we could be wearing trash bags over our heads and call us terrorists. Or better yet, wearing a coffee cup as an actual jockstrap. If you ask me, we should be better off barefoot. Especially in the summer when the skin from our feet sears off and we end up making our feet like porkchops. Garnish a little barbecue sauce and you got yourself a cannibalistic-infested meal. And that's why shoes really grind our gears."

* * *

**Nothing beats having to walk around, Fred Flintstone-style.  
**

**You got any more topics for Peter you wanna see him use in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome! ;D**


	68. Peter on Disney Channel

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 68: Peter on Disney Channel  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Disney Channel. I mean, it used to be so good back then. I mean, check out the shows that we used to had:_ Lizzie McGuire, That's So Raven, Even Stevens, Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, The Suite Life On Deck, Kim Possible_ and _Phineas and Ferb_. And I don't even watch any of them. But a decade later and all of those shows and cartoons are gone and nowhere to be found. Instead, we get new ripoffs like _Austin &amp; Ally, Liv and Maddie, Dog With A Blog, K.C. Undercover, I Didn't Do It, Good Luck Charlie, Jessie_ and that annoying _Boy Meets World_ ripoff called _Girl Meets World_. And so far, the only cartoons we got was _Gravity Falls, Wander Over Yonder,_ and that upcoming toon called _Star Vs. The Forces of Evil_, which I heard is pretty good. Luckily, _Phineas and Ferb_ is the only cartoon running to this day. When it comes to kids' programming, Nickelodeon and Disney Channel aint worth s**t. If that is, if Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Pluto all took a dump in a blender, alongside the pig vomit and spoiled milk. And that's a not a shake you don't want to try. That's why I prefer Cartoon Network. That's the real s**t. And that's why Disney Channel really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Truthfully, I think Disney Channel's okay. I watch it, but I'm not ashamed of it.  
**

**Any more topics for the fat guy you wanna see him use? You know what to do! ;D**


	69. Peter on Mexico

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 69: Peter on Mexico  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Mexico. Have you ever been to that place? It's like Narnia, except that they sound like peanut butter stuck to their mouths. Oh, and a bit of gibberish to go with that as well. I can't even tell you about the sugar that they make over there. I'm mad because I brought sugar from this country, and when I got home to try it out, it tasted a little chalky. That's when I found out that I smuggled crack. I still never want to go back there. Even to this day, I still don't buy sugar because there's possibly a good choice that I'm holding some strange substance. But there is one good thing about Mexico. It's all because they brought us that hot teenage spanish chick from Disney's "Dog With A Blog". Yes, even though I ripped on Disney Channel, Dog With A Blog is the only show I like. The only question I'm trying to find out is that who that chick is though. Anyway, Mexico makes my nards vomit and it really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Wow, I smell a riot coming on there.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for Peter? You all know what to do from here! ;D**


	70. Peter on the Super Bowl

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 70: Peter on the Super Bowl  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? The Super Bowl. I usually get confused by the name itself. Somehow, it leads me to believe that ceramic bowls can actually fly like superheroes. I'm really disappointed that they fall off and break real easily. Believe it or not, the Super Bowl is all about football and boobs. So I'm really mixed on this topic. I think the Super Bowl needs a new name, so that I wouldn't be confused by the name. And I got just the name for it. How about just f***ing football? There's no need to giving sports another name. Just call Stanley Cup plain 'hockey', and WrestleMania just plain 'wrestling' and get the f**k over with. Anyway, Super Bowl grinds my gears. Well, the half of me thinks so. And go New England Patriots. Bend the Seahawks over and give it to them hard!

* * *

**Interesting topic, Peter!  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter? Feedbacks are welcome! ;D**

**For a little added bonus, who should win the Super Bowl this year? Patriots or Seahawks? You decide!**


	71. Peter on The Duggar Family

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**P.S.: Special shout-out to those who gotten me over 400 reviews on this story! Thank you very much!**

* * *

**Chapter 71: Peter on The Duggar Family  
**

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"You know what grinds my gears? The Duggar Family. Now I know people are saying that I've already trashed the show "19 Kids And Counting" on TLC. Yes, I already did that, but I decided to grind my gears on the family. There are 19 kids in the family. I'm certain that the eight girls look like their mom, and the nine boys look like their dad. They're like a family of aliens waiting to alienate us with hugs and creepy smiles. I'm certain that creeps me the f**k out more. They're too wholesome and sound like they live in a damn amish farm. So far, they don't watch any television, don't watch any movies, don't watch any sports, and don't listen to any music. Have these Duggars ever even heard of the Super Bowl? Have they ever watched at least one good Disney film? Have they ever even watched an episode of the Cosby Show? Or better yet, have they ever even f***ing heard of the Beatles? They probably say no. I'm telling you, they're like modern-day cavemen and cavewomen. If they want to live their life the way they want to live, that's fine. But if those Duggars even think about forcing me to live a life without one form of entertainment, I'm freezing all of them and sending them back to wherever cave they came from. And that's why those cringe-ful Duggars absolutely grinds my gears.

* * *

**You tell 'em, Peter.  
**

**Any more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do! ;D**


	72. Peter on Brian Williams

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 72: Peter on Brian Williams  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Brian Williams. Hard to believe the most trusted man on news, the same guy who always lights up NBC Nightly News every weeknight, would consider himself to be the least trusted man in the news today. I don't even think he is actually a anchorman. You know who's a real anchorman? Ron f***in' Burgundy. He's got a moustache so manly, you wish you were having sex with it. In actually, I think Brian Williams is actually Peter Jennings with a strange facelift. And everyone doesn't know who Peter Jennings is. I'd google him if I were you. And that's why Brian Williams grinds my gears.

* * *

**To tell you the truth, I'm not really a news man myself.  
**

**Got anymore topics for Peter? Feedbacks are welcome! ;D**


	73. Peter on Call of Duty

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 73: Peter on Call of Duty  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Call of Duty. From the looks of it, it's actually a war game. Yeah, I salute the men and women who fight for our country overseas, and I respect what they do to keep our country's motto 'the land of the free, and the home of the brave', but the guys at Activision really wanna make a game where war looks too much real like the real thing? That's really scary, unless you get killed by stepping on an unexpected grenade. Or perhaps getting her head blown off by a sniper. Trust me, it wouldn't be worth my time. If I want to play a real man's game, I'd play Atari. I know some COD fanboys are gonna hate on me and hunt me down with AK-47's, but I got a flame thrower stashed inside my ass. I ain't afraid of anything. That's why Call of Duty grinds my gears.

* * *

**Eh, never really gotten into war games. I'm pretty much a Mario/Sonic/sports game type of person myself.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for Peter? You know what to do, fans! ;D**


	74. Peter on Facial Hair

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 74: Peter on Facial Hair  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Facial hair. Why in the hell does it itch so f*****g bad? It's like someone putting carpet in your face, or worse, it's almost like a furry blanket for your entire mouth. I don't even know why I was thinking ever growing a moustache in the first place. It makes me so unattractive, old and beaten down. Heck, it makes me look like a fat, unattractive pornstar. Yeah, Ron Jeremy, that counts for you too. So deep down, facial hair makes me sick. Way sick than the hairs on Cleveland's ass. And that's why it grinds my gears.

* * *

**Yeah, facial hair makes me itch too. Possibly from the beard.  
**

**You got any more topics for the fatman? Let me know, fans! ;D**


	75. Peter on the 90's

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 75: Peter on the 90's  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? The 90's. You sorta admit that was a boring decade to be sure. Back then, we didn't have any black presidents, dogs with blogs, iPhones, iPods, race riots, popes named Francis, horrible Nickelodeon sitcoms, dynasties involving ducks, and the horrible case of herpes known as Justin Bieber. 90's was all about TV nerds, monday night wrestling wars, video-game console wars, X-Files, people killing off some kid named Kenny, ex-football players killing wives and getting away with it, untrusting presidents (take note, Bill Clinton), and people telling everyone they're king of the world, when in reality, they're not. And it hasn't gotten any better since. And it'll never get any better now. I think we can blame Brian Williams for that too. And that's why it grinds my gears.

* * *

**Eeyup. Like Brian Williams already suffered enough.  
**

**Any more topics ****on your mind**** for the fatman? Feedbacks are welcome! ;D**


	76. Peter on Laurie Forman

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 76: Peter on Laurie Forman  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Laurie Forman on That 70's Show. She's like Connie D'Amico but with the bitch meter turned all the way up to motherf***ing 11. You don't know what she's capable of. She'll cause relationships to fail with the touch of a kiss. Take notice, Jackie and Kelso. Plus, she'll sleep with anything between a one mile radius. She'll even sleep with your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your neighbor, the mailman, the mailman's wife, heck, she'll have frickin' sex with a damn fire hydrant if she wants to. Bottom line is, she's like Satan's evil hooker. And I'm glad she was left out of the show for that. And thank goodness for that. If I ever see somebody like that, and if she thinks of hitting on me, I'm getting a bear trap attached to my belt buckle. And that's why Laurie Forman from "That 70's Show" grinds my gears.

* * *

**Eeyup, like Hyde said, we all hate Laurie.  
**

**Any topics ****on your mind**** you wanna give to Peter? You know what to do! ;D**


	77. Peter on Meghan Trainor

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 77: Peter on Meghan Trainor  
**

* * *

"You know what grinds my gears? Meghan Trainor. I gotta admit, she's actually pretty hot for a full-size chick. And she's got an awesome voice to go along with it. I think the only thing that bothers me about her is that song "All About That Bass". I really thought it had something to do with a bass guitar. Or perhaps something that has to do with a sound effect going through the speakers. For once, I usually thought she was singing about fishing. But suddenly, I found out the song is all about asses. Do we really need another 'ass' song in this day and age? We've already had "Baby Got Back" and "Back That Ass Up". I swear, if I have to hear an 'ass' song one more time, I'm shooting my butt off. That way I don't have to poop anymore. I admit that Meghan Trainor may not really grinds my gears that much, but "All About That Bass" does, plain and simple.

* * *

**I agree. We should live a day without anyone singing about butts.  
**

**Got any more topics ****on your mind**** that you wanna give to Peter? Feedbacks are welcome! ;D**


	78. Peter on Your Face

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 78: Peter on Your Face  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Your face. It bothers me so much that it makes me want to pass a kidney stone the size of Johnny Cash. Believe me, you don't want to make your d**k bleed when you pass a country-sized stone. To that person's face, I wanna say: Get a bag or a facelift. That way, you'll look more pretty than my wife that way. And that's why your face, especially my daughter's face, really grinds my gears. To that, I say 'In your face'."

* * *

**Just to state opinions here, these are Peter's opinions, not UltimateWarriorFan4Ever's.  
**

**Okay, which topic should Peter cover next? You know what to do here, fans.**


	79. Peter on Mega Bloks

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 79: Peter on Mega Bloks  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Mega Bloks. Imagine if you were playing with Lego's, except the blocks have gotten fatter and it's on the highway to hell from getting diabetes. Seriously, when did Lego's ever go out of fashion thanks to these things? I swear, a giant would even play with Mega Bloks. If they were to play with Lego's, they would be instantly crushed. That's why I'm a Lego guy through and through. Mega Bloks have no right to be on this earth and should be disposed immediately. It makes me wanna hire a buffalo so it take a diarrhea dump in my ear. And that's why Mega Bloks grinds my gears."

* * *

**Got that right, Peter. I'm a Lego guy too.  
**

**Which topic should the fatman cover next? Feedbacks are welcome, fans.  
**


	80. Peter on Dog With A Blog

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 80: Peter on Dog With A Blog  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The show "Dog With A Blog" on the Disney Channel. It started out as some sort of internet meme, and it's now translated into a sitcom. You really want to know the summary of this? It's about a dog who blogs. Nothing special to see here, and there's nothing to mention about this at all. Except I will say one thing when I watched this. It's because Blake Michael is a sexy-ass teenager. Have you seen his hair, it's so perfect, it looks like he washed it with pine tar. So far, Blake Michael may not grind my gears but Dog With A Blog does. And I say it because I'm not gay. Well, a little gay. I have a lot of problems, you know."

* * *

**Well, truth be told, I actually like the show myself. We need more talking animals on TV, stat.  
**

**Okay, which topic should Peter cover next? You know what to do, fans.**


	81. Peter on Fire

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 81: Peter on Fire  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Fire. I mean, it hurts way more than getting shot to the head. Imagine if you had to take 1,000 mini-bullets, which none of them kill you. Instead, they pierce at your skin like someone's ripping your skin off like a cannibal. Believe me, when you feel fire around you, it sounds like someone's ripping cabbage. That sounds like an awesome idea for a 3D horror movie. Having to feel what's it like to actually be on fire while your skin's shredded away like produce. That can happen if you don't take sunscreen, little kids. And that's why fire grinds my gears."

* * *

**Truth is, I don't like fire myself. So you're not alone on that conversation, Pete.  
**

**Okay, which topic do you wanna give to Peter in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome!**


	82. Peter on Beavis and ButtHead

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 82: Peter on Beavis and ButtHead  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Beavis and ButtHead. I don't get the premise of the show. It's just two big headed teenagers having to sit on a couch that smells like used cheese and cat pee. Imagine the aroma of those two. That oughtta make you lose your lunch, heck, even die of suffocation. But let's get back to Beavis and ButtHead. I wanna focus on Butt-Head on all people. If his name is Butt-Head, then shouldn't his head be an actual butt? His face would still be ugly regardless. At least Beavis is the pretty one of the group. So shouldn't the show be called "Beavis" since he pretty much steals the entire show with his 'fire' catchphrases and his alter-ego Cornholio? If they made a spinoff featuring Beavis as the star, I'd watch that. But that isn't saying much since that show's a bit worthless than a 99 cent hooker. And that's why Butt-Head grinds my gears. But not Beavis, because he rules."

* * *

**Wow, he definitely changed the subject quicker than he thought.  
**

**Which topics do you wanna give to the fatman in a later chapter? You know what to do from here! :D  
**


	83. Peter on Magic Mike

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 82: Peter on Magic Mike  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Magic Mike. I usually thought that would be this awesome magician that I never heard of. So far, I was excited to see his magic tricks and whatnot. But you know who Magic Mike actually was? He wasn't a magician. He was a f***ing male stripper. I've never been so embarrassed and gay to have to see him. So far, I can't sleep without ever having to think homoerotic thoughts of this guy. To this day, I still don't sit on toilets knowing that my toilet's gonna transform into Magic Mike itself. Who know it was weird having to poop standing up? Anyway, Magic Mike gives me chills around my ass, and so far, he grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, to be honest, I'm not a Magic Mike guy myself. Just to let everyone know from a standpoint.  
**

**Any more topics you wanna give to the fatman? Feedbacks are welcome! :D  
**


	84. Peter on Himself

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 83: Peter on Me  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? I do. I can't stand myself. I can't stand myself doing this show one bit. I don't even know where I came from or where I've been. I can't even stand choking on my own farts most of the time. The last time I tasted one, it smelled like a combination of skunk-ass, cheese, and toe rot. I was vomiting up a storm for days. But on the bright side, I managed to lose around 10 pounds. But anyway, I make myself sick and so far, I grind my gears."

* * *

**Huh, way to talk trash about yourself, Peter.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman? You know what to do! :D**


	85. Peter on Lois

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 85: Peter on Lois  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? My wife, Lois. She's such a bitch. She never let me do anything fun. She's always bossy whenever she wants me to do stuff I don't wanna do. She's like Clair Huxtable, Maggie Seaver, Kitty Forman, Peggy Bundy and an annoying banshee mixed together with one. Trust me, you wouldn't wanna meet my wife. The reason why I'm ripping on her was because I got cord sores on my ass last night because of her. I don't know how that could be possible. Anyway, my wife Lois grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eh, I thought Lois was alright. Nothing to explain here.  
**

**Any more topics for the fatman you wanna see in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	86. Peter on Ted Turner

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 86: Peter on Ted Turner  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Ted Turner. In case if anyone with eternal memory loss doesn't know who that is, he's the president of the Turner Broadcasting Company. The very same man who gave us both TBS and TNT. The very same man who gave us NBA on TNT, shows like Franklin &amp; Bash and Falling Skies, and not to mention WCW Monday Nitro, who beat WWE Monday Night RAW for a record 84 weeks. So, why am I ripping on Ted Turner? Only one reason: He canceled SWAT Kats. The only cartoon I liked that involved humanoid cats, and Ted Turner got rid of it like a f*****g cat turd. To you, I say screw you, Ted! Action-packed cats is the only way to life, ya buck-toothed retard. And that's why you, Mr. Ted Turner, really grinds my gears. Oh, and by the way, TNT sucks."

* * *

**Got that right, Peter. SWAT Kats should be brought back, plain and simple.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do! :D**


	87. Peter on The Simpsons

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 87: Peter on The Simpsons  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Simpsons. I know what the rest of you are saying, 'Why are you ripping on the Simpsons?'. Well, I can respect the fact that they're America's most important and most animated yellow-skin family since The Flintstones and The Jetsons, and they've been around for nearly 25 years. And that's when Justin Bieber didn't exist. Truth is, I'm ripping on the Simpsons because I did Homer Simpson's wife. I didn't care if I was cheating on Lois, Marge liked it. Oh, and his son and daughter liked it too. I even gave them a copy of our sex tape, just to let you know. And that's why The Simpsons grinds my gears."

* * *

**Oooh, that's sure to piss a lot of Simpsons fans off. LOL  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	88. Peter on Flat Chairs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 88: Peter on Flat Chairs  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Chairs. Now don't get me wrong, we all do need a place to sit at. But why am I ripping on chairs, especially the kind of chairs that are hard as steel and flat? Well, for once, they make your ass sore! It almost feels like gay sex, but trust me, it's like way worse. Heck, it almost feels like you're taking a big poop. But who would wanna take a number two on a chair? It feels wrong, it feels horrible, and it's nothing I don't wanna think of. Chairs that are flat should burn in hell. Beanbags are the way to go. And if anyone takes that as a sex pun, I'm kicking somebody's head off. And that's why flat chairs grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, Beanbag's are the way to go. They're so comfy!  
**

**You got more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do! :D**


	89. Peter on Testicles

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 89: Peter on Testicles  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Testicles. That is all. And that's why testicles grinds my gears."

* * *

**Wow, that was short. Never expected for Peter to do that.  
**

**Any topics for Peter you wanna throw? Feedbacks are appreciated! :D**


	90. Peter on Vince McMahon

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 90: Peter on Vince McMahon  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Vince McMahon. The very same guy who gave us World Wrestling Entertainment, and that horrid football league known as XFL. So why am I ripping him all of a sudden? Well, that should be simple. His son-in-law and his daughter are poop. Of course, I could be talking about Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, better known as the Authority. All they do is bore us with their iron fist while they treat the superstars we like as crap. Why doesn't Vinnie Mac step up and do something about this, instead of sitting at home jerking off to the divas in short skirts? Pull your pants up and straighten up Hunter and Stephanie, will ya? No one wants to see little Vince hanging out between your legs. And that's why you, lazy Mr. McMahon, grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I do admit that I prefer Vince better than Hunter and Stephanie any day.  
**

**More topics for Peter you wanna throw out? You know what to do, fans! :D**

**BTW, WrestleMania's tomorrow! I'm so excited!**


	91. Peter on WrestleMania

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 91: Peter on WrestleMania  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? WrestleMania. Yeah, I know it's perhaps one of the biggest events in sports-entertainment, next to the Super Bowl and the World Series. But why am I trashing WrestleMania? It's not for the wrestlers, or perhaps the interesting commentary. I'm trashing WrestleMania because it doesn't show any boobs. Plain and simple, if there's no cleavage at the biggest event in sports-entertainment, count me out. And that's why WrestleMania grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, WrestleMania isn't just the same without hooters. Plain and simple.  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	92. Peter on Santa Claus

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 92: Peter on Santa Claus  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Santa Claus. What else can I say about this jolly red giant? He's round, he's big, he's giant, he's fat, he's diabetic, he's a lardass, and he smells just like Rudolph's reindeer-sized s**t. What's worse about Santa Claus is the fact that he doesn't exist. I used to think at 7 years old that he was real and all, but I found out it was my drunken uncle Elliott with a white beard. And he was wearing a red shirt with a red hat on top. How dare you fool me like that, Santa Claus. If that is, if you do exist. And that's why Santa Claus, real or not, grinds my gears."

* * *

**Wow, Peter's definitely getting coal for Christmas for sure.  
**

**Anyway, you got more topics for the big guy himself? You know what to do here! :D**


	93. Peter on Seth Rollins

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 93: Peter on Seth Rollins  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Seth Rollins. If you're not familiar with him, he's this wrestler who used to be a part of this group called The Shield with Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. And then, he split up with them to go join the Authority, in which they helped him capture Money In The Back. And what's worse than that? He ended up cashing in his Money In The Band briefcase at WrestleMania by winning against Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship. To tell you the truth, he didn't earn that, plain and simple. Why am I ripping on Seth Rollins? Plain and simple. His haircut sucks. It looks like an entire dead skunk draping his forehead. So go take your business elsewhere, Skunkhead. And that's why Seth 'Skunkhead' Rollins, grinds my gears."

* * *

**I'll admit for a minute, Roman Reigns got robbed.  
**

**Any more topics you wanna give to the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	94. Peter on Boy Bands

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 94: Peter on Boy Bands  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Boy bands. They're too girly, too corny, and too emotional by singing about their feelings. It makes me depressed. And when I'm depressed, I tend to fart too much. That's why bands like Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, One Direction, Jonas Brothers and New Kids On The Block make people gassy, which is the reason why our farts cause global warming. However, there is one boy band I can tolerate, and that's Boyz II Men. Why do I like them so much? It's simple. They make some good lady-f***ing music. That's why every boy band on the earth, minus Boyz II Men, grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I admit I like Boyz II Men myself. Oh, New Edition and Bay City Rollers are alright too.  
**

**Got more topics you wanna give to Peter himself? You know what to do! :D**


	95. Peter on Kidz Bop

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 95: Peter on Kidz Bop  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Kidz Bop. They take songs we currently like on the radio, and butcher them into horrible off-key voices. It makes us want to hate the songs we listen to now. If I could say one more thing about this horrible abdomination known as Kidz Bop, is that they leave the songs alone. What's next? Are they gonna butcher songs by AC/DC, Van Halen, Metallica, Guns N' Roses? If Kidz Bop even thinks about doing that, I'll cut their balls off without any warning. I'm not playing around, I will do the impossible. That way, the world would be a better place without those horrid youngsters who sound like the Bee Gees, only retarded. And that's why Kidz Bop grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I don't like Kidz Bop too, Peter. They're such a mess.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	96. Peter on Jazz Music

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 96: Peter on Jazz Music  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Jazz music. I can't believe it sounds so depressing. I mean, when you hear trumpets blaring, it sounds like a whole choir farting out loud. And what about the saxophone? It sounds like a baby elephant giving birth. I'm telling you, it's the saddest music there ever is. And when I'm said, I fart too much. And when I fart too much, I get tired and go to sleep. I think we should live in a world without jazz music. The more we live without it, the less we fart. And that's why Jazz Music grinds my gears."

* * *

**Amen to that, Pete.**

**So, have any topics for the fat man himself in a later chapter? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	97. Peter on Meg Griffin

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**P.S.: I was gonna put this as my 100th chapter, but I figured that the backlash I've been getting from Meg fans was too much, I figured I'd do this now. So, I hope you like!**

* * *

**Chapter 97: Peter on Meg Griffin  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Meg Griffin. Apparently, there are so many objections from people telling me how badly and harshly I treat my daughter. Like for instance: Just this morning, I farted on Meg's cereal when she wasn't looking. Or how about the time I accidentally whacked her with a steel chair, mistaking her for a burglar last night? And let's not forget the time that we accidentally exploded a watermelon all over her face. Bottom line is, even though I treat my daughter like crap most of the time, deep down, I still love her as my one and only daughter. Sometimes, I blame myself for doing those bad things to her. And yes, if you must know, there's a Jekyll inside of me that does bad things to people. So if you're a Jekyll to your daughter, make sure you be a good Hyde and love your daughter no matter what. Meg Griffin may grind my gears, but as my daughter, I'll still love her."

* * *

**Eeyup, always love your daughters, people.  
**

**Got any more topics you wanna give to Peter? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	98. Peter on Disability Jokes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 98: Peter on Disability Jokes  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Disability jokes. You wanna know why, it's not that funny. It may be funny to Al Qaeda and ISIS, but to us, it's not. I mean, we're putting down little people, people who are handicapped, and even mentally challenged people. We're talking about retards, people. Sometimes, it makes us feel bad when we make fun of them. You could only tell how America's decline is these days. Making fun of stupid people just to get a mean, heartless laugh. We shouldn't make fun of them anymore. That's why we should only make fun of the Duggar family from TLC's gut-cringing piece of horses*** known as '19 Kids and Counting'. I still think their mom looks like a chubby out-of-shape Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeah, you know I f***ing went there! And that's why disability jokes grind my gears."

* * *

**Wow, Peter must really hate '19 Kids and Counting', huh? Me too. Like I said, it's "Duck Dynasty" all the way.**

**Any more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	99. Peter on Quagmire

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 99: Peter on Quagmire  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? My friend Quagmire. What is there to say about him? I mean, he's had sex with way more women than Boston Celtics does winning NBA championships. Can you tell how many sexual transmitted diseases he's given to women? I'll give you a major hint. It's the very same people used to fill up Fenway Park in Boston. And I have to say, he's been there for me through thick and thin, and even though we may disagree on stuff, he's still gonna be my friend. So why in the hell am I ripping on him? You wanna know something? He had sex with my damn daughter, that's what! I'm still disgusted by it to this very day! Way more disgusting than Miley Cyrus's crotch when it's rubbed against my face! If I see Quagmire trying to get his way with my daughter again, I'm taking a sledgehammer and smashing his balls off! And that's why Quagmire grinds my gears!"

* * *

**Wow, that was pretty hateful of Peter. I guess he still wouldn't forgive Quagmire for what happened between him and Meg.  
**

**Anyway, got any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	100. Peter on Grinding Gears

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 100: Peter on Grinding Gears  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The things that actually grind my gears. They piss me off and don't give me no life whatsoever. The things that absolutely piss me off really gets me ticked off. And therefore, all the functions in my body stop. I'm not lying here, but every time I get mad about things that grinds my gears, I fart by accident. One time when I was pissed about the Red Sox losing to the Yankees, I accidentally let one out on Meg. And it was actually father-daughter day down at Fenway Park. We had to take four hours for her to finally regain air. It was actually a four-hour coma Meg was in for that time. Anyway, grinding my gears pisses me off, and that's why it grinds my gears!"

* * *

**Wow, that felt actually confusing to say the least. By the way, we finally reached 100 chapters! Whoo-hoo!  
**

**Anyway, you got any topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do here! :D**


	101. Peter on Johnny Test

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 101: Peter on Johnny Test  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Johnny Test. Why in the hell is that show still on? It's all about a kid with spiky hair who goes on adventures with his talking dog. And random s**t starts happening to his sisters, which look like two genderbent versions of Dexter from "Dexter's Laboratory". And not to mention there's a villain who goes by the name of "Bling-Bling Boy". It's a really fat Eminem with diabetes. Honestly, I can't stand this rotten piece of gog s**t and it needs to be canceled right now. I mean, it should not be shown again. It doesn't even need to be shown in the solar system as a matter of fact. Yet, there's something that bothers me. Why in the hell is the dog named Dukey? It's like calling your dog 'Turd', 'Poop', 'Feces' or better yet, calling your dog, 'S**t'. I'm pretty certain those four things definitely explain this show. But I will say something good about this show at least. At least it's better than that f*****g 19 Kids and Counting! And that's why Johnny Test grinds my gears."

* * *

**Truth is, any show is better than 19 Kids. Even Johnny Test is better than that show. But that isn't saying much, knowing that both of them suck.  
**

**Anyway, got any topics for Peter in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	102. Peter on Bruce Jenner

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 102: Peter on Bruce Jenner  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Bruce Jenner. At least that's what Bruce Jenner used to be after he was turned into a chick. Who knew that the athlete that was responsible for winning a gold medal at the 1976 Olympics and banging Kim Kardashian's mom would turn out to be one of the most ugliest chicks I have ever seen. Who knows? Maybe it's all just an act. Maybe Bruce Jenner's trying to pull our leg from our own butts. If what he says is true about being a weird transexual or whatever Bruce is now, then I'll eat my own glasses. With salt on them. And that's why Bruce Jenner grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I never watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians either, although Kim is hot.  
**

**Anyway, you got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome, everybody! :D**


	103. Peter on Japan

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 103: Peter on Japan  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Japan. Why in the hell do they talk like broken retards? It's nothing but "RAAAAHHHHHBHBHBHBHBH!". Okay, they don't sound like broken retards. They sound more like two dogs having sex in gibberish. I can't stand their food either, especially the sushi. It tastes like Winter Soldier's testicles. Another thing that really grinds my gears about Japan is sumo wrestling. For goodness sakes, put on a bra! You think we have to see manboobs jiggle up and down? We can't even look at our wives the same way anymore because sumo wrestlers possess the one thing girls have. You wanna get sumo wrestlers to get rid of their manboobs? Have them lose f*****g weight! That way, Japan would be a less fatter country! And that's why Japan grinds my gears."

* * *

**Good thinking, Pete.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do from here! :D**


	104. Peter on the Brazil Soccer Team

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 104: Peter on the Brazil Soccer Team  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Brazil soccer team. Why are they this good? And why are they so talented? It's because they have Ronaldo! He's like familiar to Pele, and Pele was beast when it came to soccer. No, Pele wasn't a beast. He was nearly a soccer god when it came to the sport. I swear, they win more World Cups then Wilt Chamberlin did with women! And he must've slept with at least 500,000 women. That's nearly 500,000 STD's that's been contracted. Anyway, why doesn't the Brazil soccer team give other countries a chance to win the World Cup? Give someone else who deserves it, like the United States? Or Canada? Or Israel? Or for the poorly weak, how about the poor people of Antartica? They need something to eat with the winnings, you know. With the winnings, those Antartics could buy a butt load of Big Macs covered in ice. That's why the Brazil Soccer Team grinds my gears."

* * *

**Got that right. No one can touch the U.S.!  
**

**Got more topics for the big guy himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	105. Peter on Minecraft

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**P.S.: Thanks to you fans for helping me make it to my 600th review!**

* * *

**Chapter 105: Peter on Minecraft  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Minecraft. What kind of a game is Minecraft anyway? It's nothing but blocky graphics that will cause a single person seizures. Even the people in the game have blocks as body parts. It's almost like a messed-up version of Lego. If that is Lego suddenly went on a freaky acid trip. Believe me, that's not the vacation you want to take. I swear, if there's a game out there that wouldn't easily give me seizures, I'd rather play The Legend of Zelda. At least Link isn't as blocky as the main character is. I can't tell the thing on his upper chin is actually his goatee or his mouth. If that's his mouth? What's up with that tan spot on his nose? Is that a moustache that resembles Adolf Hitler's mustache? If that's true, then Minecraft's anti-semitic. And that's why Minecraft grinds my gears."

* * *

**Uh-huh. I was never a Minecraft fan myself, either.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter? You know what to do here! :D**


	106. Peter on The Big Bang Theory

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 106: Peter on Big Bang Theory  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Big Bang Theory. I really do like the title however. So when I first heard about it, I thought it would be some new porno where there's nothing but gangbangs. I guarantee you I had my lube ready for the action. And the minute it came on, I was disappointed to find out that it didn't have anything to do with porn. Instead, it was a sitcom about four nerds and one fully-clothed blonde chick. Way to disappointment me like that, CBS. Way more disappointing than the gay you hired to be on that show. Shame on you. ABC pulls way better gays than you'll ever have. And that's why Big Bang Theory grinds my gears."

* * *

**Just remember, these are Peter's opinions, and not mine. I respect people no matter how straight or gay they are. Regardless of who you are, the rest of you are my friends.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	107. Peter on Mayweather Vs Pacquiao

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 107: Peter on Mayweather vs. Pacquiao  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The fight between Floyd "Money" Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao? Why in the f**k did it take so damn long to make this happen? It's like waiting for a new Guns N' Roses album to come out. Or perhaps waiting for SWAT Kats to get back on the air? And not to forget the fact that I have to wait for guys down at the soda company to make Crystal Pepsi again. Safe to say, it was worth the wait. And let me tell you something deep down, Mayweather f****d PacMan up. And yet, he's still undefeated again. Strangely, I don't have anything to say against the fight. Except there is something I do have to say about it that grinds my gears: It didn't show any boobs. And that's why Money vs. PacMan grinds my gears."

* * *

**I gotta admit, I was rooting for Pacquiao to finally get the win, but Mayweather still whooped him good. The undefeated streak lives yet again!  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do! :D**

**Oh, and for fun, who were you rooting for: Floyd Mayweather or Manny Pacquiao?**


	108. Peter on The Beatles

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 108: Peter on The Beatles  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Beatles. With that crappy bowl-cut they had in the 60's, they look like they could be brothers. Forget that, they could be clones from another planet and we didn't know. The hardest part about it is finding out which one's either John, Paul, George or Ringo. Maybe if they would have dyed their hair, I could find out which one's which. When they broke up, I finally found out which one's which. I think George hooked up with an asian chick, I think? Who knows, I didn't catch up with my childhood that much. I'm waiting for a Beatle reunion one of these days. I don't know why it's taking forever to get them back together, but that would be awesome. Now that I'm talking about them, I'll say that The Beatles don't really grind my gears. I think the asian chick grinds my gears, instead.."

* * *

**Nice idea for a Beatles reunion, Peter. But you forgot something, fat man. John and George died long time ago. May they rest in piece.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	109. Peter on YOLO

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 109: Peter on YOLO  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? YOLO. And no, it doesn't stand with Yogurt On Leisurely Orgasms. In fact, it's short for the expression, **Y**ou **O**nly **L**ive **O**nce. Why are you telling us this? Don't we all live once? I mean, we were put here on this planet for a reason. We only have one life that we have to live. Why is someone telling us we only live once when we damn well know that? We don't need to be reminded again, thank you very much. So far, YOLO just doesn't stick with me. But YOLT? That I stick with. It's stands for **Y**ou **O**nly **L**ive **T**wice. That's a James Bond reference just in case you don't know. And that's why YOLO grinds my gears.."

* * *

**I agree with Peter on the You Only Live Twice thing.  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter himself in a later chapter? You know what to do fans! :D**


	110. Peter on Uncle Grandpa

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 110: Peter on Uncle Grandpa  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The cartoon 'Uncle Grandpa' on the Cartoon Network. How come the show is called Uncle Grandpa when he's not even that old? I mean, he's gotta be somewhere around 45 years old. To even be considered a grandpa, they gotta be somewhere around 80. And the way he dresses like some kind of sex offender makes kids want to cringe and even tape their butts shut. No kids ever want to imagine getting it from behind by a disgusting gay pedophile. And that's what I think of Uncle Grandpa. I don't even want to bring up the big lizard guy, a talking pizza with glasses, or a cardboard tiger either because they're like Uncle Grandpa in every way. Just three big disgusting gay pedophiles. And that's why Uncle Grandpa grinds my gears."

* * *

**Huh, I never really thought about that. I guess that's why he likes to hang out with kids and such.  
**

**So, have any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	111. Peter on Chocolate Rain

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 111: Peter on Chocolate Rain  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That "Chocolate Rain" song. From there, I usually thought it was rain made out of chocolate. So when it was raining outside, I went out and touched the rain on my lips. As fun as I wanted it to be, I found out that it was just plain water and not chocolate. How dare that song lie to me like that. Whoever sane that song, I hope you get your balls castrated for this. You made me believe that rain was actually made out of chocolate, when in reality it's not. I'll be at your doorstep with a bazooka in my hands. You know where I'm sending this one out to. And that's why Chocolate Rain grinds my gears."

* * *

**Hard to believe Peter would be confused by song titles itself.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter you wanna dish out? You know what to do! :D**


	112. Peter on Pimples

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 112: Peter on Pimples  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Pimples. It's little white dots that appear on your face. And when you squeeze them out, it f*****g hurts like hell. Imagine you had to squeeze a pimple so big, a combination of pus and blood starts shooting out of you. And then, you die from losing too much blood thanks to that unforgotten pimple. Pimples should not exist in this life period. We should live in a world full of smooth skin and handsome people, plain and simple. Now pimples on your c**k, that hurts way more than rough sex with a cheetah dressed in hooker's clothes. Yeah, I really do have to admit that's bestiality in so many ways. And that's why Pimples grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with you, Peter. Pimples suck.  
**

**So, you have any more topics for Peter to dish out in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	113. Peter on Bad Sex

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 113: Peter on Bad Sex  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Sex that's become bad. And it's true, gentleman. No matter what we do in the bedroom, we're never gonna satisfy our wives. We're never gonna do it for the nookie. So we can take that cookie and shove it up our asses. By the way, they're a very good waste of cookies. Try putting them in your mouth instead of your butts, okay? Anyway, back to bad sex, try taking lessons from those porn stars. You know what they say, good sex leads to sore rumps from those women. And that's why bad sex grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eeyup, we all love good sex.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	114. Peter on Prince

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 114: Peter on Prince  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Prince. If you don't know what kind of 'Prince' I'm talking about, it's The Artist Formally Known as Prince. That dude's a frickin' weirdo. If you thought Boy George was weird, Prince takes weird all the way to f*****g 11! I mean, wearing a body suit where your asscheeks are shown? That's pretty much a gay man's fantasy come to life. And I won't discuss the time he got out of the tub naked in that "Purple Rain" video. If you ain't gonna creep people out with your nakedness, then for everyone's sake, wear a bag over your package. You really think we want Little Prince swinging around to 'Little Red Corvette'?. That's why you, Prince, really grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eh, I don't know Peter. I think Prince is alright. I listen to him all the time (don't judge).  
**

**So, got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do here! :D**


	115. Peter on LeBron James

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 115: Peter on LeBron James  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? LeBron James. Somehow, this guy who once bailed on the team he was drafted by, suddenly came back with open arms from thousands of Cleveland Cavs fans. It's almost like Jesus coming back to earth or perhaps Elvis Presley rising from the frickin dead to do another concert tour. I admit that LeBron James has a lot of b-ball skills very similar to Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, and Magic Johnson. So why am I ripping on him all of a sudden. It's very simple: He took a big giant crap on Miami as soon as he left. And let me tell ya, it's almost nearly the size of a frickin house. And anyone who has taken a gigantic crap the size of a house would've been dead right about now. Not to mention, I'm a Miami Heat fan. Which is exactly I was pissed off when LeBron left. And that's why 'King' James grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I admit Cleveland wasn't the same when LeBron left.  
**

**Have any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	116. Peter on Dan Vs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 116: Peter on Dan Vs.  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Dan Vs. It's a show about an angry malcontent who takes revenge on meaningless things. For instance, he takes vengeance on the whole entire country of Canada, the entire state of Mexico, baseball, weddings, high school reunions, banks, the Wolfman, the Mummy, George Washington, beaches, barbers and whole lots of s**t we can ever come up with. That guy is in need of total therapy. I love the show, but man, he really needs to take thousand chill pills. If he gets way too angry, he's gonna start pooping all over. Which is why he's one major, yet short s**tstorm waiting to happen. And that's why Dan Vs. grinds my gears. And to the Dan guy, keep your pants on as well."

* * *

**It sucks that Dan Vs. is no longer on TV anymore. But hey, at least there's always YouTube for that.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do. :D**


	117. Peter on Vince Russo

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 117: Peter on Vince Russo  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Vince Russo. If any of you young wrestling fans don't know who that is, he's the guy who forced WCW to die. Why did Vince Russo force WCW to die. It's simple: Horrible stipulation matches. Last-minute turns in wrestling matches. And his beard looks like a skunk's entire butthole. Is WWE ever gonna follow in his footsteps? Imagine if WWE were to put on some bad stipulation matches, just like Vince Russo did. We would have a laxative on a pole match. Maybe a strip thumb wrestling match. Heck, maybe we could have a Golden Shower match. If the rest of you don't know what a Golden Shower is, I'd advise you not to know. It's a little dirty and sickening to see. So far, Vince Russo grinds my gears.

* * *

**Eeyup, I shudder to think if he were to run WWE. Everyone would go apes**t, and not in a very good way.  
**

**You have more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	118. Peter on Mike & Molly

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 118: Peter on Mike &amp; Molly  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The show "Mike &amp; Molly" on CBS. It's nothing special. It's about two fat people falling in love. That's such a boring plot. You might as well have Jabba The Hutt and the Stay Puft Man get it on with each other. And I can't stand the characters on the show. One's a policeman, one's a romance author, one's a token black policeman, one's a hot stoner, one's a bible-thumping loudmouth, one's an illegal alien, one's a very fat italian, one's a foul-mouth redhead, and one is so fat, he already ate an entire fat kid for lunch. So far, Mike's my ass and Molly's my b***s, and they grind my gears. But I did like the hot brunette chick, though.

* * *

**You wanna know something? I watch "Mike &amp; Molly". I actually like the show itself to be honest. :D  
**

**Got more topics for Mr. Peter Griffin himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	119. Peter on Jeff Fischer

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 119: Peter on Jeff Fischer  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That Jeff Fischer guy on "American Dad". For first, I mistook him as T.K. from Digimon. That is, if T.K. smoked too much weed and grew a bad goatee. And then somehow, he changed his named to Jeff Fischer. Shouldn't he be hanging out with his Digimon instead of fooling around with the Smith's daughter? I think he's very fit in Digimon instead of American Dad. But there's one problem about this. Not even one kid watching this doesn't even know what Digimon is. Take blame on your parents for making you retarded. So far, Jeff Fischer grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I admit I'm a Digimon fan myself. I'm mostly a Season 1-2 fan of Digimon, because I liked the original characters.  
**

**Anyway, got more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	120. Peter on Josh Duggar

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 120: Peter on Josh Duggar  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Josh Duggar. If you're not familiar with him, than his last name will definitely strike a cord with TLC viewers. That's because he's the oldest son of the godawful ass-cringing Duggar clan from TLC's '19 Kids and Counting'. You thought I was through trashing the show and the family itself, wait until you get a load out of this one! It seems that Josh had become some sort of girl molester as a teenager. It seems he just couldn't handle groping a breast or two. And considering what their caveman family must think of him now, I'd say that they raised one heck of a future sex predator. That's the reason why I never watched this show and I never will, because there a higher chance of someone getting groped on the show. And that's why Josh Duggar grinds my gears."

* * *

**Huh, I guess we'll never look at them the same way again. Good. Never was a huge fan of them.  
**

**So you got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	121. Peter on Steroids

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 121: Peter on Steroids  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Steroids. They make everything big. We're talking about muscles around your arms, abs, legs, neck, traps, asses and even your balls. Eeyup, even testicles have steroids. You think I'm lying? Ask 'Big Poppa Pump', Scott Steiner. That guy's a pill freak. His arms are so f***ing huge, it's almost the size of my entire flabby stomach. And that's a very disturbing image if I ever seen one. So don't do steroids, kids. Do women. That's a safer alternative. And that's why steroids grinds my gears."

* * *

**Got that right, Peter.  
**

**So, have any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	122. Peter on Flash Floods

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 122: Peter on Flash Floods  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Flash Floods. It makes everything look like the movie 'Waterworld'. And I can't tell you how bad that movie sucked. I mean, why do floods happen. Maybe Galactus decided to take a big giant piss all over planet Earth and we all have to suffer through it. If you don't know who Galactus is, I dare you to Google him. He's f*****g big than four entire Earths combined. That's nearly 500,000,000,000 Big Macs. Anyway, flash floods are piss, and that's why it grinds my gears."

* * *

**I figured I'd do this since my state had such a terrible risk of flash floods yesterday. But they didn't take my town away, so good for me!  
**

**So, got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	123. Peter on Earthquakes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 123: Peter on Earthquakes  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Earthquakes. I mean, imagine if someone had to blow out a fart the size of our entire universe. That would sound really bad, and it would smell really bad too. They're more terrifying and earth-shattering than a giant baby rattling his cage until everything falls to the floor. The same goes with buildings. One huge fart later and everything falls to pieces. You mostly see these in movies like _Earthquake_, _2012_, and the recent movie known as _San Andreas_. Pray that no one blows a huge fart around this earth. Start keeping your farts in your pants people. And wipe your bum while you're at it. Anyway, earthquakes grind my gears."

* * *

**Uh-huh, I do admit that's worse than a volcano, tornado, or a category five hurricane combined.  
**

**Any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	124. Peter on The Charlie Charlie Challenge

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 124: Peter on The Charlie Charlie Challenge  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Charlie Charlie Challenge. If you're thinking it's more like the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, then you're wrong. Instead, it's all about grabbing two pencils and stacking them in a plus sign just to summon some demon named Charlie. It's way more boring than you think? Who in the hell wants to stare at two pencils all day long? It's like staring a painting for hours and taping it on YouTube for nearly two frickin' hours. If I rather do anything than do the Charlie Charlie Challenge, I'd just drink beers for hours. Drinking games are way better than summoning demons. That way there's a lot of puking involved at the end, just like The Exorcist. Anyway, the Charlie Charlie Challenge grinds my gears."

* * *

**I admit it was never my thing either, Peter.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter he'll cover in a later chapter? You know what to do fans! :D**


	125. Peter on Ouija Boards

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 125: Peter on Ouija Boards  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Ouija Boards. As if we didn't have enough fortune telling to begin with. You just hold a mirror in front of a board, ask a question, and see if it leads to yes or no. Just this morning, I went to the Ouija board asking him if I wanted to go a day without taking a crap, it said 'G-O-D-F-O-R-B-I-D', and I just quit from there. There's no way anyone in the entire Earth could ever go a day without crapping themselves. Ouija Boards are poopy, and shouldn't have a place in anyone's homes. But it's not that bad apparently, because it actually makes a good chopping board for meats and vegetables. And not to mention it makes a good dinner tray for sure. That's why Ouija Boards grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I was never interested in that stuff too.  
**

**Anyway, got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	126. Peter on Fifty Shades of Grey

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 126: Peter on Fifty Shades of Grey  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Fifty Shades of Grey. I usually thought it was 50 types of gray colors. But then, I realized it's nothing but a smutty book about whips, chains, domination, and sex abuse. And what's worst about this? They made a movie out of it. I hate when I get confused of various titles like these. We might as well call it Fifty Shades of S**t. Just grab all 50 types of poop and watch it non-stop until we get bored and flush it down the toilet. Which by the way, I'll have to grab a copy of that "Fifty Shades" DVD that Lois bought so I can flush it down the toilet as well, along with the book. And that's where it truly belongs. In a toilet full of s**t. Hate me all you want 'Fifty Shades' fans, that abusing s**tfest of smut grinds my gears."

* * *

**Never got into that 'Fifty Shades' thing either. It just isn't me  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	127. Peter on Chrisley Knows Best

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 127: Peter on Chrisley Knows Best  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The show "Chrisley Knows Best" on the USA Network. It's about this raging metrosexual taking care of his children along his chubby wife. Like that isn't normal. I really hate the fact that Todd Chrisley sounds like he's gay. Not to mention his wife, because she's a little bit boring. Don't me started on their sons though. One's quite the skirt-chaser himself, while the little boy's teeth look like they got into a hockey fight. So far, the only thing redeeming on the show is the two hot daughters on the show. I would soooooo bang them. Maybe a nice little threesome might do. But still, it doesn't change the fact that the show's more useful than a blind man driving a speeding train. Sorry to break this to Todd Chrisley, but the show is plain ass, not class. And that's why Chrisley Knows Best grinds my gears."

* * *

**I admit it's not really a bad show. I got the whole two seasons recorded on my DVR. Which means I'm soooooo gonna have a field day on my tube. I will also admit that it's way better than "19 Kids and Counting".  
**

**So, haveany more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	128. Peter on Mondays

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 128: Peter on Mondays  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Mondays? You know why I hate Mondays? It's simple. I always have to go back to work, just to cake crap from my annoying boss. Not to mention that I get worn out every time from work, and I don't even get any free time for myself. It's just arrive at work, get tired, come home, have dinner, and sex with the wife before bed. And the sex wasn't even good last night! No, the only time I ever get fun time is on Saturday Nights. And those are the fun nights, because you get to drink whatever you want and you can end up anywhere drunk. Plus, for hangovers, I get an entire plate of lasagna. Yeah, you think Garfield hates Mondays? Well, he ain't alone in that logic. And that's why Mondays grinds my gears."

* * *

**Monday's arent that bad, Peter. At least we get Monday Night RAW and American Ninja Warrior. So every day for me is always fun.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do! :D**


	129. Peter on Student-Teacher Relationships

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 129: Peter on Student-Teacher Relationships  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Student-teacher relationships that you see on TV. It's very sickening to say the least. Much sickening to see a young man having sex with an aging Betty White. It's much more sickening to see Opie hooking up with Aunt Bee. And it's more sickening to see a 10 foot horse screwing a fox. We all should blame Mary Kay LeTourneau for making us feel dirty. Because of her, schoolkids won't ever set foot in school again, knowing that there's a higher chance they're gonna get hit on. Now what about teachers who look like hot pornstars? I'm pretty sure everyone in the high school level would be okay with that. But if it's anywhere near elementary and middle school level, then start running for the hills and start taping your underwear, because it gets too nasty from here. And that's why student-teacher relationships grinds my gears."

* * *

**Got that right. What are these teachers thinking? Although I am up for very hot teachers, let me tell ya that.  
**

**So, any more topics you have for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do here! :D**


	130. Peter on Eric Bischoff

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 130: Peter on Eric Bischoff  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Eric Bischoff. For those of you who don't know who that is, he's the guy who was very important to WCW, and helped become an important part in the Monday Night Wars. Plus, he was responsible for nWo, the New World Order. And boy, did they defeat Monday Night RAW in 84 weeks! That's very impressive. And then, he headed over to WWE, where he was responsible for HLA, known as Hot Lesbian Action. Oh, and I forget to mention that he was responsible for the creation of the Elimination Chamber as well. No one could touch what he offered to the fans, despite my dislike for him. So why does he grind my gears? It's very simple. He's f*****g d**k-poop, and I'm glad he's gone. Thank goodness for that. And that's why Eric Bischoff grinds my gears."

* * *

**You wanna know something? I'd actually prefer Eric Bischoff over the Authority anyday.  
**

**Got more topics Peter to use in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	131. Peter on Trojan Horses

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 131: Peter on Trojan Horses  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Trojan Horses. It's a gigantic wooden horse used by the Greeks. I usually can't comment on that, knowing that horses are not made out of wood. Horses have fur, you know. And yet, some greek nutjob thought it would be a good idea to make a horse out of frickin' wood. Whoever came up with that needs some help, period. And the kind of help I'm talking about is an insane asylum. I don't even know if they existed back then. Maybe in a snake pit, perhaps? Who knows? I flunked World History. And that's why trojan horses grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I never got it either.  
**

**Any more topics you have for the fat man himself? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	132. Peter on Nerds

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 132: Peter on Nerds  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Nerds. Why can't we stand them? After all, they're smart, brainy and have way more intelligence than us. I guess the only reason we hate people like Steve Urkel, Sheldon Cooper and Milhouse because they make us retarded. Not cool, nerds! I'd say we're a lot smarter than you'll ever be. Have you ever heard of William Zabka, the bully from those 'Karate Kid' movies? He was the most smartest, most wisest bully there ever is. Give him the Nobel Peace prize right away. He was the true inventor of the world 'bully', plain and simple. And that's why nerds grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eeyup, no one can touch what Zabka had.  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	133. Peter on Sequels

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 133: Peter on Sequels  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Sequels. Seriously, do we absolutely need another sequel of a book or movie, knowing that one of them isn't gonna be good as the original? How many Fast and Furious movies do we need? How many Harry Potter books do we want to stomach? How many Star Wars sequels do we have to sit through? What kind of episode is that saga on? Episode 25? I'm telling you, we don't need another sequel. Let's just leave the originals alone and leave it at that. If we can at least leave Lindsay Lohan alone, then we would have nothing to worry. But that isn't saying much since we have to live out another tabloid of her crapping on a high-heeled shoe. And that's why sequels grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with you on that one, Peter.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	134. Peter on Uwe Boll

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 134: Peter on Uwe Boll  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Uwe Boll. If you're asking me who that is, it's simple. He is the worst s****y directors I've ever seen. Obviously, he makes films based on awesome video games such as BloodRayne, House of the Dead and Alone In The Dark. And we can't even look at those games and play them anymore because this German guy ruined them. To this day, we still haven't seen a sequel to those games I've mentioned. For the sake of everybody, he should just retire and leave those games alone. You wanna direct something that you're comfortable with, try taping yourself taking a s**t with all the movies you directed. That way, the world will be a safer place! And that's why Uwe Boll grinds my gears."

* * *

**It's good that he stepped down from directing, because honestly, he depresses me.  
**

**Any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	135. Peter on Halo

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 135: Peter on Halo  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Halo. I usually thought it was the thing on the top on your head when you're an angel, but instead it's a video game where you shoot down aliens, travel in Jeeps, and dress up in green armor. I gotta say, it looks cool on my part. Who would spend nearly a week shooting down baddies with rifles while chomping on a delicious Meat Lovers pizza for hours? I know I would. I don't even know why I'm grinding my gears on an awesome game such as Halo. I should be grinding my gears on something that really boils my innards dry. Like Lebron James's genitals getting flashed during last night's NBA finals. Keep your shorts on, please. You really think we want to see big LeBron? My junk's bigger than yours buddy, and that's why you grind my gears. And get some underwear, too. "

* * *

**You tell LeBron, Pete!  
**

**So got more topics for Peter for a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	136. Peter on Ku Klux Klan

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 136: Peter on Ku Klux Klan  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The KKK. They're practically black panthers but with satanic white guys who dress in white. And they burn crosses only because they hate both black guys and God himself. Plus, they also hate cute puppies. Whenever they see one, they tend to burn it until it cooks tender crisp. I think they're the only reason why southern police cops end up shooting black people for no reason. If the Ku Klux Klan didn't exist in the first place, then we wouldn't lose too much black lives. In fact, black lives matter. And jews. And puppies. And bad-sounding italians. And Caitlin Jenner. You know what, forget Caitlin Jenner. Just run her over with a train and that'll be it. And that's why KKK grinds my gears."

* * *

**Got that right, Peter. They should have no place around here at all.  
**

**Anyway, have any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	137. Peter on Ducks

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 137: Peter on Ducks  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Ducks. They're frickin' annoying with all those quacking noises they make. There's too much ducks on TV that we see everyday. There's Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Duey, Louie, and even that horrid piece of 70's d**kcheese known as Disco Duck. Not to forget that we also have Duck Dynasty, and even the video game "Duck Hunt" on the original Nintendo. Deep down, they should be extinct. They have no place on planet Earth. Instead, they should have a place on the grill and inside our stomachs. I'll tell ya, they're very good. Especially when you drench them in hot wing sauce and ranch. Which reminds me, I gotta poop some duck eggs in a minute. And that's why ducks grinds my gears."

* * *

**Can't wait for the DuckTales reboot. It's gonna be awesome.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	138. Peter on Mickey Mouse

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 138: Peter on Mickey Mouse  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Mickey Mouse. I'm talking about the black mascot from Disney. To be honest, I don't even think he looks like a mouse. He looks more like a wrongfully black rat. And so does his wife Minnie. They're the reason why Donald Duck gets discriminated for being the only white duck in the company. Scrooge McDuck and his nephews definitely count in that category. Not to mention Darkwing Duck and his little daughter. It's all the white people's fault for causing riots in the first place. All except me. It's a good thing I'm a Looney Tunes guy, because at least Daffy Duck is the only likable black man I'll like. Mickey Mouse is my ass, Disney is my balls, and that's why they grind my gears."

* * *

**Wow, I could totally imagine Peter saying that. Unlike him, I totally accept everybody, regardless if they were white or black.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**

**P.S.: Thanks to you all for the 800th review! I appreciate it!**


	139. Peter on Rule 34

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 139: Peter on Rule 34  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Rule 34. If you don't know, it's a fake yet surprisingly reliable rule of the Internet which states that if something exists, there is porn of it. And by something, we mean anything. I mean, there's fanfiction, slash fiction, cartoons, hentai, whatever you name it. I mean, who wouldn't jerk their gherkin to Deadpool giving it hard to Pinkie Pie. Apparently, that would be wrong, since it would be considered bestiality. There are many sick f**ks who can practically turn a single object into porn. That's totally messed up if you're looking to turn Thanksgiving dinner into a family incest orgy. I still shudder whenever I imagine someone getting off with a turkey bone. Anyway Rule 34 turns everyone into retarded perverts, and that's why it grinds my gears."

* * *

**You totally got that right, Pete.  
**

**So, got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	140. Peter on Creepypastas

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 140: Peter on Creepypastas  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Creepypastas. I usually thought that someone made some nasty lasagnas or something like that, but I found out that it's actually a tale of fearful legends and creepy images that have been scattered around the internet, just to make them look true. I mean, we got Slenderman, Jeff The Killer, you name it. To be fair, is any of them actually true? Does Sonic really have a murderous twin brother who's actually the spawn of Satan himself? Is there actually a SpongeBob SquarePants episode where Squidward does commit suicide? And is there actually a hidden lost episode of "The Big Bang Theory" where Sheldon Cooper kidnaps Penny, bounds her and stuffs her mouth full of disgusting entrails until she dies from choking? Okay, I admit the last one's not really true. Anyway, creepypastas s**t my pants, and that's why they grind my gears. Seriously, they really s**t my pants, and I need some underwear right now."

* * *

**Got that right, Peter. *hands the fat man a new pair of underwear"  
**

**Have more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	141. Peter on Shia LeBeouf

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 141: Peter on Shia LeBeouf  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Shia LeBeouf. We knew him as the kid from Disney Channel's "Even Stevens" show, only to become this bearded control freak who telling everyone to just 'do it'. What the hell are you making us do, Shia? You want us to have sex with our love ones? Maybe kill a man? Maybe get laid? Maybe smoke a little pot? What do you really want us to do? I know what I want to do. And that's to f*****g shut you up right now, Shia! Maybe that's what you want me to do. Maybe then we all can get on with our lives and chow down on tortilla chip pizza while binge-watching Duck Dynasty. My advice, Shia? Take some chill pills. I beg of you, do it. That's why Shia LeBeouf grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eeyup.  
**

**Got any more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	142. Peter on Adam Sandler

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 142: Peter on Adam Sandler  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Adam Sandler. Why are his movies that bad? I mean, back in the 90's, all of his movies were a hoot. I mean, we're talking about _Billy Madison_, _Happy Gilmore_, _Airheads_, _Bulletproof_, and of course, _The Waterboy_. So far, this is the 2010's, and so far, he's starting to become the next Pauly Shore. Or perhaps the next Nicolas Cage. I mean all of his movies are being so unfunny today. We has _Jack and Jill_, _That's My Boy_, _Blended_, and two _Grown Ups_ sequels. I say, throw those movies in the dump with all the feces that's been extracted from animals. Because that's what they are. Just pieces of feces. Hopefully, his _Pixels_ movie better not suck. Because if it does suck, I'm throwing myself off a f*****g roof. I'm serious. That's how much Adam Sandler grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with Peter. "Pixels" better not suck too.  
**

**Anyway, got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	143. Peter on Deathmatch Wrestling

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 143: Peter on Deathmatch Wrestling  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Deathmatch wrestling. You think seeing nearly-gay men in tights wrestling was horrible, this kind of wrestling doesn't compare to anything. I mean, we're talking about people getting hit with tables, ladders, chairs, baseball bats, garbage cans, barbed wire, fire, broken glass, florescent lights, light bulbs, C4 explosives, cars, trucks, bed of nails, and even horrible copies of "Pluto Nash" on DVD. I know how much that movie sucked pig s**t. To be honest, deathmatch-styled wrestling nearly looks like a grindhouse film come to life, except that no one gets killed in these matches and for the fact that there's no boobs. If you can have two hot half-naked chicks beating the crap out of each other with barbed wire-wrapped chairs, then I'll consider it. But as far as I'm concerned, deathmatch-style wrestling grinds my gears."

* * *

**Ummmm, yeah, I'll have to disagree with you on that, Peter.  
**

**So have any more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	144. Peter on Nicolas Cage

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 144: Peter on Nicolas Cage  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Nicolas Cage. If the rest of you with tumor-sized ears don't know who he is, he was once one of the biggest actors of our generation, starring in such films such as "Raising Arizona", "Moonstruck", "Con Air", "Kick-Ass", "The Rock", "National Treasure", "Knowing", "The Croods", and the last two "Ghost Rider" movies. But he's really starting to suck now. I mean, movies like "Gone In 60 Seconds", "Drive Angry", "Bangkok Dangerous" all deserve a place in a blender full of pig vomit and horses**t. His last movie I think I can remember was "Left Behind". It was so bad that I wished to have an asteroid the size of Galactus's ass come down and crush everybody, ending humanity on sight. I was nearly this close to getting if the black hole hadn't come sucked the rest of that asteroid that I wish for. Meanwhile, Nicolas Cage sucks, he gives me hemorroids, and that's why he grinds my gears."

* * *

**Deep down, I liked "Ghost Rider". That movie was awesome.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	145. Peter on Regular Show

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 145: Peter on Regular Show  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? "Regular Show" on the Cartoon Network. Imagine Beavis and Butt-Head, but more stupider, and that because they got turned into a bluejay and a raccoon. And for the fact that there's a fat green dwarf with manbreasts who does nothing but eat crap and make jokes about his own mom. Did I mention that there's an angry pissed-off gumball machine that comes alive and talks? Talk about strange. I'm pretty sure whoever created this was on something more than just your usual pot. But all and all, it's a pretty creative show, and I can appreciate how much it's appealing to kids. So why am I ripping on the show? If you must ask, it's because Mordecai and Rigby are frickin' naked. At least put some clothes on why you're at it. That's why this show grinds my gears."

* * *

**Hey, be proud to let it all out, Mordo and Riggs.  
**

**So, got more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	146. Peter on Steven Universe

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 146: Peter on Steven Universe  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? "Steven Universe" on the Cartoon Network. I hate that show because the kid on there looks like Bob from "That 70's Show" and they go on adventures with three freaks. One of them has an afro and a big butt, one's fatter than my lower thigh and the one is so skinny, she looks like a sheet of paper. Plus, can anyone tell me why there's a glass circle on the top of her head? What the hell happened to her, did she get in a car accident and someone forgot to remove the thing on her head? That's how I can say about them. What are their names? Aneurysm, Gonads and Prick? I think that's their names. What do I know? I never watched the show that much. Plus, can someone get that gem out of the kid's stomach? I swear, he's storing a lot of belly button lint in there. And that's why Steven Universe grinds my gears."

* * *

**You got that right, Pete.  
**

**Thought of any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	147. Peter on Total Drama

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 147: Peter on Total Drama  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The "Total Drama" series on the Cartoon Network. It's obviously a parody ripped off from Survivor, which I don't even watch to this very day, knowing I'm still horrified of Richard Hatch's junk. I heard that the host of Total Drama has a chin that's shaped like an ass. And from the way I saw the show myself, I could see why. I wonder if his chin farts as well? So far, the series is still going strong with Total Drama Island, Total Drama Action, Total Drama World Tour, Total Drama Revenge Of The Island, Total Drama Pahkitew Island, and it's upcoming Total Drama spinoff, The Ridonculous Race, which is based off the Amazing Race. If I had an idea for next season of Total Drama, it would be Total Drama Bulls**t! It's a season where contestants start taking s**t from each other's contestants. Literally, they're actually taking s**t from each other's butts! I'm certain that's what the series is, it's full 100% Canadian bulls**t. The humor is so bland, it's like watching Hugh Hefner's nuts dry up on impact. I rather watch that than the cartoon. And that's why Total Drama grinds my gears. Oh and P.S., the reason why I didn't include Total Drama All-Stars on that list, because it smells worse than two bulls crapping on each other while watching the show altogether."

* * *

**How dare you, Pete! I actually like Total Drama myself. I watch it for the interesting storyline. Anyway, can't wait for the Ridonculous Race!  
**

**More topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	148. Peter on Celebrity Deathmatch

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 148: Peter on Celebrity Deathmatch  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Celebrity Deathmatch. It was a cartoon in the 90's that had two celebrities killing each other in a wrestling ring for a chance at victory. It's like _Gumby_ meets _Mortal Kombat_ with celebrities. Why do we really need to see celebrities murder each other for fun? It's almost like having to see Leatherface chainsaw a helpless dog in front of our eyes. Heck, it's nearly like having to see the Chicago Cubs win a world series, which resolves in every Chicago native rioting everywhere with chance of mass murder. No one really likes to see famous people get killed in situations like these, even if they were made of clay. If there's a chance we'd see Lindsay Lohan pleasure herself with a tiki torch set on fire, I rather watch that than the show itself. Gives a new meaning to the word 'firecrotch'. And that's why Celebrity Deathmatch grinds my gears. "

* * *

**Eh, I thought Celebrity Deathmatch was awesome. It really was. I wish they brought that show back. I miss it so.  
**

**Any topic on mind for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	149. Peter on Computer Crashes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 149: Peter on Computer Crashes  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Computer Crashes. Imagine if you were on a porn site, and then - BOOM! - your computer stops stone-cold dead. You can't even move s**t. What's worse than that, a worm starts chowing down on your database and every thing in sight. You wanna know how you can stop computer crashes? Start calling Geek Squad from "Best Buy". Or do what I do. Take your computer and chuck it out the f***ing window. That's pretty much an easier solution. Anyway, computer crashes are s**t, they're poopy, they smell like crotch rot combined with weasel vomit, and that's why they grind my gears. Serves me right for looking up German Fart Fetishes."

* * *

**And you really thought Germans were weird, Peter.  
**

**Anyway, any topics you wanna give to Peter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	150. Peter on Kai Brewer

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 150: Peter on Kai Brewer  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That f***ing dork known as Kai Brewer from the Disney XD show 'Kickin' It'. I can't tell you how much I f***ing hate this douchebag. He beat up his brother so bad that he had to quit karate until he moved to Seaford. I hated him even more when he joined the Black Dragons. I'll tell ya, he's like Zabka expect he has total hippie hair. I really hate how he gives karate hippies a bad name and such. I was so happy that Jack whipped his ass, but not in the gay way. If the gay S&amp;M community ever heard something like this, then they would be turned on by that thought. Not me, I'm not that big on gay incest S&amp;M. Anyway, that's why Kai Brewer grinds my gears."

* * *

**If you're asking, yes, I am a huge fan of "Kickin' It", thank you for noticing.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, fans! :D**


	151. Peter on Scythes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 151: Peter on Scythes  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Scythes. If you're not familiar with that, it's a weapon that the Grim Reaper uses. It's basically a piece of broken glass attached to a stick. It's almost nearly an anorexic version of a battle axe. With an axe, that causes a lot of damage to trees. With scythes, it only scratches. That is so stupid and godawful in so many ways. It's like Freddy Kreuger having to kill someone with a spoon, or perhaps Jason Voorhees having to kill someone with a shoe. And a shoe can do worst damage than your usual scythe. That's what we need right now. A scary movie where people get hacked and slashed by shoes. Scythes ain't got nothing on deadly footwear. And that's why scythes grinds my gears."

* * *

**Well, that would be an interesting possibility...  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter to cover in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	152. Peter on Herbert

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**BTW, congratulations on the 900th review people! I appreciate it!**

* * *

**Chapter 152: Peter on Herbert  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Herbert. It's that old guy down on the street. Plus, my son Chris kindly sells newspapers to him. My son's a good kid. I don't even know why Herbert's always obsessed with him. I mean, they hang out, watch tv, fly kites together, heck, just this morning, I saw Herbert drawing what seemed to be him and my son wrestle in the nude. And that's when I realized that Herbert was nothing more than an old gay pedophile. You think Michael Jackson was perverted enough? He doesn't compare diddly-damn-d**k to what Herbert does! Deep down, I happen to think Herbert invented the word pedophile. That guy should deserve a medal for what he's done for little boys. That must explain why Herbert grinds my gears."

* * *

**Tell it like it is, Pete!  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man, himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, fans! :D**


	153. Peter on South Park

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 153: Peter on South Park  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? _South Park_ on Comedy Central. It's a show where four circle-headed kids go on these crazy adventures, and it ends with the orange-hooded kid dying. That's definitely a message if I've seen one. Have a cartoon where a kid dies. That's sure to have kids who watch this kill kids who are just like them. I can honestly relate to the adults on this show. There are two Jewish parents of a Jewish kid, a teacher who's got a puppet shoved in his ass, a big fat black chef who's now dead, and the fat kid's mom who's actually a slut. If our parents were like that, we'd kill ourselves. Let's hope we got graves reserved. For my grave, I'll lay face down so that everyone can learn how to kiss my ass. And it's all because of South Park. That's why South Park grinds my gears."

* * *

**Boo yeah, Pete! You never fail to amaze us!  
**

**Have any topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	154. Peter on Disrespecting Women

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 154: Peter on Disrespecting Women  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The way women are being disrespected when they're treated like s**t. They're used as objects to beat on, have sex with, or if they're sick, even peeing on them for some sick fetish. Believe me, they don't smell good with pee fetish. They start to smell like day-old maple syrup that got dipped in month-old green beans. I believe women are to be respected as such. They are to be loved and cherished. They deserve a real man who would treat them right as well. Trust me as I say this, but the only woman we should treat as crap is Ariana Grande. The way she's been licking and spitting on those donuts made me realize why I don't go to Dunkin' Donuts anymore. Anyway, disrespecting women totally grinds my gears."

* * *

**Got that right. As Otis Redding would usually say, 'try a little tenderness'.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	155. Peter on Angry Grandpa

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 155: Peter on Angry Grandpa  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? This Angry Grandpa guy on YouTube. Why in the hell is he pissed off all the damn time? Did someone steal his bacon? Did someone offend him? Did this fat guy named Pickleboy call him such an old bag with steroids? What's his problem? He's like one outburst away from a f***ing heart attack! Heck, he's like one outburst away from exploding himself! And that he killed us with it. I hope we got graves deep enough for that explosion, because basically, his rage is definitely a real weapon of mass destruction. Iran's definitely got nothing on this old angry bastard. And that's why Angry Grandpa grinds my gears."

* * *

**I actually like Angry Grandpa myself, especially the episodes where he cooks. Makes me hungry.  
**

**Anyway, got any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	156. Peter on Chickens

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 156: Peter on Chickens  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Chickens. Why in the hell are they annoying? And why in the hell do they even have loopy beards? They're animals for pete's sake! Chickens are only used for fighting and cooking. The only two things great for a country like ours. That is, if you happen to run into either Big Bird or Ernie The Giant Chicken. That's when the feathers, the fists and the f**k starts flying. And I'm not mentioning the part where they s**t out eggs, because that seems wrong and leaves a big nasty number two taste in my mouth. It makes me not want to eat omelets anymore. Anyway, Ernie's waiting for me at the parking lot, so now it's a good time to close things out. Anyway, chickens suck, it makes me want to kick their ass, and they grind my gears."

* * *

**Hmmmm... makes me hungry thinking of chickens all of a sudden.  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	157. Peter on Job Applications

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 157: Peter on Job Applications  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Job applications. Those things really piss me off! Why do you need an application to sign for a job? If a sign says Help Wanted, just tell them your name, tell them you'll take the job and they'll hire you anyway. That should sound very easy to do. I shouldn't have to take a damn hour having to fill out my name, by date of birth, or job experience. Save that for the anti-Jews, that's why they're hateful buzzkills. Let's just throw out the job applications next time, America. No applications means faster jobs for the little people. And yes, I'm including dwarves in that category. And that's why job applications grind my gears."

* * *

**I'll drink to that, Pete!  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter to cover in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	158. Peter on Inside Out

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 158: Peter on Inside Out  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That movie called _Inside Out_. It's all about the emotions inside of a tweenage girl. There's Joy, the happy one. There's Sadness, the depressing one. Fear, the scared little son of a bitch. Anger, the f***ing pissed off one. And of course, let's not forget that green bitch known as Disgust. I couldn't get that movie at all the whole time I seen it. It seems like the only parts I like was Anger killing the crap out of Fear, just to make me laugh. And nothing spells family-friendly more than attempted murder in an animated movie. I mean, if _Bambi_ got away with murder, why not this movie. Violence won't hurt kids. It's too bad they didn't show a lot of it in this movie, otherwise I would have liked it. You know what I say when it comes to movies: No blood, all dud. And that's why _Inside Out_ grind my gears."

* * *

**Oh, come on. I thought it was an awesome movie for sure!  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	159. Peter on Fire Trucks

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 159: Peter on Fire Trucks  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Fire trucks. Why in the f**k are they so annoying? It's like having to get rid of that ring tone sound that keeps hurting your ears. It's almost like having to hear the sound of a very loud alarm clock close to your ears as well. The first thing you hear that 'weeeeeeeee-wooooooo' sound, you go deaf permanently. Have they even considered making a quiet mode for those machines? Who knows? They'll never gonna make one. They'll keep making fire trucks with sirens so loud, the entire sound barrier would be f**king destroyed. But at least the cool thing about it is that they have a firehose attached to it. That way, I can use it to blast those bastards who should have thought about making a quiet mode for those loud red bitches. And that's why fire trucks grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree on those fire trucks. I rather hear a police siren instead, just because it sounds cool.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter in a later chapter? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	160. Peter on YouTube Ads

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 160: Peter on YouTube Ads  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Those motherf***ing g****mn YouTube abs! I mean, they're like commercials made only for the internet, even when they're played before or during a video. Who in the hell came up with that stupid piece of motherf***ing s**t? Why don't you just let me enjoy the video without any interruptions? There's no right to advertise some kind of f***ed up sex toy or a brand of s**t filled diapers while I'm in the middle of watching a new Angry Video Game Nerd, Epic Meal Time or that Angry Grandpa guy! YouTube ads are nothing but cancer as far as I can see, and things like YouTube ads are killing us. Guns, knives and chainsaws don't compare to that kind of horror. I heard that someone in prison died just for watching a Verizon commercial. If you're gonna use YouTube Ads, use them in prison to execute prisoners. There's no use for them in our home. And that's why YouTube Ads grinds my gears."

* * *

**Wow, talk about a verbal firestorm there.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	161. Peter on Lois's Cooking

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 161: Peter on Lois's Cooking  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? My wife's cooking. It nearly tastes like Keith Richards's wrinkly ballsack. If you don't know who that is, Google him. Just last night, Lois cooked that godawful salmon casserole. It tasted like a dog's crotch rot combined with dead skunk farts. I puked so much, I lost nearly 20 pounds just by eating it. I had to use tic tacs, breath mints, mouthwash and my daughter's homemade Oreo balls just to wash that nasty taste away. Even though I treat my daughter like crap, I do admit she makes good Oreo balls, so I love her for that. I rather have her cooking than my wife's. I don't care if she hears this, I'm glad I said it and that takes the pressure off of me And that's why my wife's cooking grinds my gears."

* * *

**I bet the rest of you have never tasted an Oreo ball before. They are soooooooo good!  
**

**So, have many more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	162. Peter on Oatmeal

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 162: Peter on Oatmeal  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Oatmeal. It's some kind of hot steamy cereal with oats. To me, it nearly looks like vomit that didn't get burned through a pan. Just looking at it makes me throw up itself. I said that because I'm a bacon/eggs/toast man myself. Was the person who created oatmeal on f***ing dope? I don't understand how something so sludgy and chummy like this could be made into a breakfast item. You wanna know what are real breakfast items? Omelets, pancakes, waffles, bacon, ham, sausage, biscuits, eggs, buttered toast and breakfast sandwiches. I'll eat anything besides that cooked vomit that is Oatmeal. I hear that's Vladimir Putin's favorite Sunday afternoon brunch. No one definitely wants to be near him and his rancid vomited oatmeal breath. And that's why oatmeal grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree, I'm not that much of a oatmeal fan too, Peter.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? Deedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	163. Peter on Hulk Hogan

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 163: Peter on Hulk Hogan  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Hulk Hogan. If you all remember who he is, he is perhaps one of the greatest wrestlers of the 80's, if not, the greatest superstar of all time. That is until you realize he's nothing more than a bearded racist with steroids. Because of that, WWE dropped him like a rock, breaking everything down to pieces. He lost more respect faster than Vanilla Ice ruined his career. What is that guy now, a home wrecker? Anyway, back to Hulk Hogan. I'm still amazed he has fans on twitter, despite the controversy. You really wanna know what his fans mostly consist of now? Nothing but f**king white supremacists. And they're the ones that hate blacks and small alien kids. So far, Hulk Hogan is poopy and that's why he grinds my gears. So whatcha gonna do when PeterMania runs wild on you?"

* * *

**Huh, Peter makes sense. I guess Karma would do that to you, Hogan. I'm an Ultimate Warrior guy anyway.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do here, fans! :D**


	164. Peter on Chores

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 164: Peter on Chores  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Chores. We're talking about washing dishes, taking out the trash, scrubbing the floor, scrubbing the toilet, vacuuming the floor, cleaning the house, fixing the roof, fixing the car, and scrubbing the tub so it's shinier than Stewie's ass. Let me tell ya. Chores are a total fun waster. It's like having to work without actually going to work. It's total bulls**t. I rather have fun watching _Dog With A Blog_ wearing nothing but underwear over my head than to do all of the chores that Lois tells me to do. Yes, I watch _Dog With A Blog_. Anyone who dares laugh at me gets a blowtorch to the ass. And that's why chores grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I watch Dog With A Blog. So what? I watch it for that Blake Michael guy. That dude's got awesome hair! It's almost like a masterpiece!  
**

**Have any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome, my fans! :D**


	165. Peter on Surfers

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 165: Peter on Surfers  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Surfers. We're talking about people with far retarded accents decked in blonde hair. And did I mention that they're shirtless whenever they're in beaches? For goodness sake, get a f***ing shirt on! You think we wanna see those tan lines? Wait, I forgot something. They're not tan lines, they're f***ing sunburns! And those surfboards are godawful. It's like riding a large skateboard with no f***ing wheels. Imagine actually having to ride a skateboard without any wheels in real life. The only far you'll go is like a tiny-second of a mile. Even an ant is way faster than a skateboard with no wheels. Anyway, surfers make me retarded, and that's why they grind my gears."

* * *

**I'd admit, I'm not that big on surfing myself.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do here, my fans! :D**


	166. Peter on Paper Cuts

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 166: Peter on Paper Cuts  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Paper cuts. Who knew that one little scratch of skin could hurt? It's that tiny! I mean, those sharp sheets of paper make razor blades look crappy. Have you ever imagined someone trying to commit suicide with a f***ing tiny paper cut? I can imagine kids somewhere around 6 years old that depressing obsesses paper-cutting themselves to death. I imagine if I was depressed too, I'd be cutting myself with a shoe. And I can't find anything sharp in these shoes. Anyway, paper cuts grind my gears."

* * *

**I think they suck too, Peter.  
**

**So, have any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, my fans! :D**


	167. Peter on Being Fat

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 167: Peter on Being Fat  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Being fat. That's the only thing I hate. We can't see our feet, we can't see our d**k, and we cant tell what we smell like being fat. We end up farting a lot, we start running slow, and we end up with a huge beer belly, which would make everyone think we were pregnant. There's no way I'm getting more fatter and pregnant. What would be awesome is a hard 12-pack. The kind of 12-pack that girls would often dream about when they masturbate, which by the way, I've got a 12 pack of Pawtucket Patriots standing cool in my fridge and I want to down those sons-of-bitches before Meg does. Although I never seen her drink in the first place. Anyway, being fat sucks and it grinds my gears."

* * *

**You totally got that right, Pete.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, my fans! :D**


	168. Peter on 1,000

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 168: Peter on 1,000  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The number 1,000. Why is that so important to us? I mean, what is up with the number in the first place? I don't know why were talking about this in the first place. Is the number about how many people are there? Did we reach any landmark with this number? I don't remember having to do this show around 1,000 times in my life! You know how it long it takes to count this number? Around 3 f*****g days. I'm sorry, but this is a boring topic for me to do. It's a topic could not be explained, even if I told you what it was. I would rather talk about Lindsay Lohan taking a huge monster s**t on a tire. But I couldn't explain that either since I cringe having to smell a combo of feces and dead roadkill. Maybe we'll talk about something else in the next show, like spinoffs of other shows. That sounds like a good topic other than the number 1,000. By the way, I prefer the number 69 since you have a hot girl's butt around your face. And that's why the number 1,000 grinds my gears."

* * *

**I admit that I prefer 69 other than 1,000 too, Pete.  
**

**So got any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, my fans! :D**


	169. Peter on Spinoffs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 169: Peter on Spinoffs  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Spinoffs from other TV shows. Usually, spinoffs don't usually last long on TV. For example, take _Joey_. It's a spinoff from the show _Friends, _which only lasted two seasons I think? I don't know, I'm not that big on spinoffs I don't even know f***ing existed. It's been done well before. _A Different World_ was a spinoff of _The Cosby Show_, _Laverne &amp; Shirley_ was a spinoff of _Happy Days_, _The Jeffersons_ were a spinoff of _All In The Family_, _Benson_ was a spinoff of _Soap_, and _Family Matters_ was a spinoff of _Perfect Strangers_. Now were getting _Full House_ and _Married... With Children_ spin-offs as well? What's up with this world all of a sudden? Why can't we just leave the original shows alone and just leave them be? It's like having to make a spinoff of, I don't know, let's say _Marvin Marvin_? I can't tell you how horribly godawful that show was! It was like having to eat and poop out a giant-size turd the size of my head! And that smell doesn't go away until we die. Either way, just leave the shows be and get over with our lives. Which reminds me, I have to get home and watch _Bunk'd_ on TV. Hopefully, it's the episode where Xander and Emma have an unprotected one night stand, and I ship Xander/Emma. If you don't know what the show is, well, shame on you. And that's why spinoffs grinds my gears."

* * *

**For those of you who don't know, _Bunk'd_ is a spinoff of the Disney Channel show _Jessie_. It's not that bad to be honest.  
**

**So have any more topics for Peter in a later chapter? You know what to do my fans! :D**


	170. Peter on Dragons

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 170: Peter on Dragons  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Dragons. Especially the ones that fly and sneeze out fire, as if they got a bad cold and an STD put together. And they scream so damn much, it hurts your eardrums. You imagine you hear a dragon scream up close to your face, you'd actually go deaf? At least when you're deaf, you won't actually hear them scream anymore. On the bad part, you won't even hear a hot girl moaning when you're having sex with her. Deep down, I think dragons should be extinct and rid of immediately. Without any dragons on this earth, deaf people would finally hear much. And that's why spinoffs grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I'm not really big on dragons either.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, my fans! :D**


	171. Peter on the Human Centipede

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 171: Peter on The Human Centipede  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Human Centipede. It's like some type of centipede, but with humans. Why am I not surprised? Oh, especially when you add the fact that guys are licking other guys butts, or stuffing their heads in them! That sounds surprising enough, considering it nearly sounds like gay porn! That's not an image I wouldn't want, especially if you're wanting some guy's tongue around your butthole. Than you're scarred for eternity. Which reminds me, I'm going for a beer run after the show, so I can wash out the image of some gay dude eating out another gay dude's real end. And that's why the Human Centipede grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, that's what I thought too.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, my fans! :D**


	172. Peter on Nothing

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 172: Peter on Nothing  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. That's the best subject I've ever thought of doing. That's right, I'm here to talk about nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Why is nothing so important? That's because I think it's absolutely nothing that I'm talking about nothing. I wish I could talk about something, which I concur that something is better than nothing? I mean, who would want something out of nothing. I know I want it, that way it would be better than nothing. Let Lindsay Lohan or any of the Duggars have nothing at all. I think they deserve a lot worse than nothing. And that's why nothing grinds my gears. And for me, that's saying something."

* * *

**Yeah, something is better than nothing too, Peter.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fatman himself? You know what to do, my fans! :D**


	173. Peter on Suicide

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 173: Peter on Suicide  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Suicide. It's when somebody wants to kill themselves. Why in the hell would anyone get so depressed, they want to take their own life? Is it because no one wants to have sex with you? Is it that no one wants to drink with you? What could it be exactly. I'll tell you what those things are that can send us to suicide: Depression, fear, that godawful Fantastic Four movie Lois made me watch at the movies, Justin Bieber's music, and having to watch a 24-hour _Full House_ marathon. Not one of those episodes made me laugh one bit. It was like watching _19 Kids and Counting_ drunk, but I'm not gonna even talk about that show one bit. Life is precious and too short, live it up the best way you know how. Suicide is never a good thing, and that's second only to Seth Rollins from the WWE. I hate that skunkass. And that's why suicide grinds my gears.

* * *

**You got that right, fatman.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, my fans! :D**


	174. Peter on Disney Sitcoms Not On DVD

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 174: Peter on Disney Sitcoms Not On DVD  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? When Disney doesn't even release their sitcoms on DVD! That is supreme bull-shit on my part. It's like someone releasing a season of Johnny Test out on DVD, and I can't tell you how horrible that show is. It's like someone puking over a pile of crap. And believe me, it doesn't smell good at all. I do have to tell that Disney does put their sitcoms on DVD, but the company doesn't even bother putting their seasons out. I mean, we're talking about shows like _Austin &amp; Ally_, _Liv and Maddie_, _Dog With A Blog_, _Jessie_ or perhaps that _Good Luck Charlie_ show, which I do have to admit that it's waaaaay funnier than _Full House_. Why doesn't Disney just pull its head out of its ass and release the shows out on DVD as season boxed sets? I mean, you put shows like Phineas and Ferb and Gravity Falls out on DVD, why not the shows I've mentioned. Believe me, if you don't want a full-scale riot of kids and retarded maniacs happening, just release them on DVD! That's all we want. I don't want to envision a mass murdering happening somewhere around Walt Disney World if the complete first season of Austin &amp; Ally doesn't come out faster. And that's why Disney not ordering their sitcoms to be released on DVD in seasons grinds my gears.

* * *

**Yeah, I admit that was my main problem for sure, fat man.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself to use in a later chapter? You know what to do, my fans! :D**


	175. Peter on Fantastic Four The Movie

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 175: Peter on Fantastic Four The Movie  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That f***in' piece of pigs**t known as Fantastic Four The Movie. We're talking about the 2015 movie version, just to everyone know which version of the movie I'm talking about. Of course, the movie is very different. For once, they start off as teenagers at first, but then they grow up to be superheroes after getting contaminated by some funky power source coming from a planet. And I think that was pretty much it, considering I left the theater half-way towards the movie. You wanna know why? Because I knew it was gonna f***ing suck towards the end. Why did it suck? For example, why in the holy mother of s**t-f**k is Human Torch black? I mean, it doesn't make any frickin' sense. I mean, the entire team oughta be consisted of different races. For instance, Mr. Fantastic could be Chinese, Invisible Woman could be Mexican, and I'm pretty sure Thing could be a psychotic Muslim intending on blowing America up with bad language. If Marvel did that, then this would be a movie worth seeing in theaters. But instead, it was nothing but a shake full of diarrhea, vomit, cow feces and a Justin Bieber CD blended together to make a baby. That's definitely a shake you don't want. And that's why the Fantastic Four of 2015 grinds my gears.

* * *

**You know something? I think the 2005 version of the Fantastic Four was way better. I think Jessica Alba made a much hotter Invisible Woman.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome! :D**


	176. Peter on 2000

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 176: Peter on 2000  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The year 2000. Everyone was afraid that the world was gonna end, all because of one tiny computer bug. How in the mother of f**k could a bug cause one entire world to end? It's like somebody trying to kill the single country of China with a spoon. It's like trying to butcher cows with a salt shaker. Everyone started pissing and s****ing their pants because of this? Would we see earthquakes, volcanoes, thunderstorms, hurricanes, and gay sex break out? I hate to see that happen for sure. But luckily, 2000 was passed and life still went on. We even survived the 2012 scare, all because Mexicans wanted the world to end. News flash, I don't know when the world's gonna end. The only way the world's gonna end is when the f***ing Chicago Cubs finally when a World Series. I really hope they don't win, because I hate those bastards. Red Sox rules all the way, which its the only reason they keep this world going. And that's why the year 2000 grinds my gears.

* * *

**Sure, I guess I can toast to that, Pete. Although I think the Yankees are the ultimate team. But then again, I really don't have any favorite team whatsoever, so it's just my guess on who makes it to the World Series themselves.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	177. Peter on Undertaker

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 177: Peter on Undertaker  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Undertaker. I know what you're thinking, 'How dare you pick on Undertaker?'. The truth is, I'm not. I respect the guy. I mean, he's a legend for the WWE. Did I mention that he once had an undefeated WrestleMania streak? I mean, he amassed 21 wins without ever being defeated. That's impressive. That was until Brock Lesnar beat his ass at WrestleMania XXX. Hey, I didn't cry when Undertaker got beat at WrestleMania. After all, records were made to be broken someday. So why does Undertaker grind my gears? Simple. He f***ing kicked Brock Lesnar in the nuts twice! I have never seen Undertaker kick someone in the beasties before. Even though it's dirty, I do have to admit it's worse than getting Tombstoned. If Undertaker were to do that to me, I'd piss on whatever grave he's sleeping. There's a reason why he's called a deadman. Because Brock Lesnar will rip him to shreds come SummerSlam. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy, folks. And that's why Undertaker grinds my gears.

* * *

**Hands down, I think Brock Lesnar will tear him apart this Sunday at SummerSlam. Don't get me wrong, folks, I respect the Undertaker too. It's just a prediction I made.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter, himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	178. Peter on Westboro Baptist Church

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 178: Peter on Westboro Baptist Church  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The entire Westboro Baptist Church. They hate nothing but gays, politicians, football, rockstars, celebrities, Jews, babies, little kids, puppies, wrestling, America, and anything related to Mexicans, including aliens from Mars. Okay, some of them are true and some of them aren't. Who knows? I could be wrong. Whatever happened to 'love thy neighbor'? Apparently, these so called 'Christians' down at the WBC doesn't think so. As much as I respect all people of religions, no matter who they are, the people of Westboro Baptist Church all deserve to eat a pile of Satan's crotch rot, mixed with a pile of goat s**t and topped off with a side of f**k you. That's a poo-poo platter you definitely wouldn't wanna try, except for the WBC, which they deserve so much for their hatred of everybody. That kind of hatred is saved for the angry cat people. And that's why Westboro Baptist Church grinds my gears.

* * *

**Stay away from them, folks.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman, himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	179. Peter on Jared Fogle

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 179: Peter on Jared Fogle  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That bastard known as Jared Fogle. If you're not familiar with him, he's now the ex-spokesman for those delicious Subway sandwiches. Who rather knew he started his career in small jeans and ended his career getting in even smaller jeans? I'm telling ya, that guys knows how to love kids. And I mean, he _really_ loves kids. Okay, what I'm saying to you people with deafness is this: JARED FOGLE LIKES TO BEAT OFF TO LITTLE KIDS! He always likes to press his subs in front of him, until a squirt of mayo comes out of it. Anyone who does that in front of the children should have their d**k cut off and feed it to Jared Fogle himself! I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears!

* * *

**I'll still eat the sandwiches though. I think they're delicious. My favorite is the Meatball Marinara, just so all of you know.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter, himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	180. Peter on Josh Duggar Revisited

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 180: Peter on Josh Duggar Revisited  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears again? Josh G****mn Duggar! As you know, I shudder so much whenever I have to hear about anything associated with _19 Kids and Counting_ or the kid-toucher I just referred to right now! As if touching kids wasn't enough, we find out he's such a porn freak! His parents are so horrified, they wouldn't even want to be anywhere near that dirty son of his. What's next? Is he gonna start beating off to his sisters? Maybe to his own children? Or worse, is he gonna start beating off to his wife? I'm surprised that after all he's done with that unfaithful s**t, she decides to stick by him! I got some news and advice for that certain someone who's married to Josh: Leave. Leave while there's still time and never look back. Leave while he's still urging to jerk off again. Believe me, when that stuff starts flying, it gets a little sticky and you'll never want to get it out. It's like herpes, but only _WORSE_. And that's why Josh Duggar grinds my gears again!

* * *

**Eeyup, I'm also gonna revisit on some of the topics I've done.  
**

**But you're still more than welcome to send Peter upcoming topics to use in a later chapter! Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	181. Peter on Michael Jordan

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 181: Peter on Michael Jordan  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears_? _Michael Jordan. People say that he's the greatest basketball player of all time. Just like what Wayne Gritzky was to hockey, Richard Petty was to racing, Jackie Robinson was to baseball, and Hulk Hogan was to wrestling, Michael Jordan is the most important athlete of all time? So why the hell am I grinding my gears on someone who's a 6-time NBA Champion and Hall-of-Famer? Well, it's very simple: LeBron James can kick his ass. That's right, I'm a Cleveland Cavaliers fan. They're the only team I'll ever root for just in case if Boston can't even make it to the NBA finals. I don't care if I hate on Air Jordan, I'll go King James any other day. Plus, he ruined Hanes underwear. It's the reason why I can't even wear underwear around my pants anymore. Besides, I love going naked inside my pants. And that's why Michael Jordan grinds my gears.

* * *

**Screw you, Peter. I love Michael Jordan, and I think he's still the best.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	182. Peter on the Twilight series

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 182: Peter on The Twilight Series  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears_? _The entire Twilight Series. That's right, we're talking about the original Twilght, New Moon and frickin' Breaking Dawn. It's about a teenager falling in love with a 110-year old vampire. Seriously? Are you frickin' kidding me? How sick is that a teenager around 16 years old falling in love with a old man? It's like one of the kids from "Full House" hooking up with, I don't know, let's say Kirk Douglas? That dude's gotta be somewhere around 200 f***ing years old! What's worse than that? She also hooks up with a werewolf! That sounds sickening enough, thinking that it's got something to do with bestiality. I'd really had more to talk about this, but thinking about those disturbing images of a teenager blowing an old dude and an animal is starting to make my d**k throw up diarrhea. Which reminds me, I'm gonna do that now. Twilight is a piece of old-man s**t blended with wolf dump and it grinds my f****ng gears. By the way, go Team Jacob.

* * *

**Well, we all know which side Peter's on despite his hate for Twilight.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	183. Peter on Women's Underwear

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 183: Peter on Women's Underwear  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears_? _Frickin' women's underwear. It's like men's underwear, except it ain't sexy and it's un-attractive. It's like if granny panties had grown an inch. Who in the hell is gonna get turned on by something that looks a little flabby? If you ask me, I'm a thong man. It's all about that thong-tha-thong-thong-thong. Women's underwear need to be extinct. In fact, they should have never been made in the first place. However, there is something good I will say about women's underwear. It actually makes a great fishing net. Maybe the company who makes women's underwear in the first place should make fishing nets. And it goes great with April fresh fabric smell. And that's why women's underwear grinds my gears.

* * *

**Well, we all know which side Peter's on despite his hate for Twilight.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, my fans! :D**


	184. Peter on Broken Servers on Fanfiction

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 184: Broken Servers on Fanfiction  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? When those damn servers get broken down at fanfiction! It's like I wanna post my story, yet the site won't let you do that all because it suffers a f**king brain fart! Start getting your act together, fanfiction! What else do we have to post our stories out: Out of our d**ks? It definitely isn't the same having to read Glee or Harry Potter fanfiction coming from our Jimmy Junk, because there's a good chance of ink and blood dripping out of our crotches. I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears.

* * *

**I agree, Peter. It really pisses me off too.  
**

**Have more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, my fans! :D**


	185. Peter on Spider Man's One More Day arc

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 185: Peter on Spider-Man's One More Day  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That Spider-Man comic arc known as _One More Day_. You really wanna know what happens? Spider-Man's Aunt May gets her ass shot and he has to make a deal with the devil in order to save her. But it comes with a cost, though. The devil ends up erasing Spider-Man and Mary Jane's marriage. It's nothing but total unfair bulls**t! If I had to choose between marrying with a hot big-boobed wife and old dying Aunt May, I'd pull the f**king plug on that old bitch and marry Mary Jane. I don't care if what I do sends me to hell, I'd rather f**k the hot redhead than make a deal with the devil. Aunt May is nothing but the Cryptkeeper dressed in drag. If you don't know who the cryptkeeper is, then shame on you. And that's why Spider-Man's _One More Day_ storyline grinds my gears.

* * *

**Luckily for me, I never even read that comic. Spider-Man/Mary Jane 4-LIFE!  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, my fans! :D**


	186. Peter on Rain

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 186: Peter on Rain  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? When it f***ing rains! It's like taking a shower, except you end up getting sick and there's always a chance of dying from some sick flu. I gotta admit, I tried it once and it didn't make me any cleaner as it was. One time, I accidentally sneezed so hard on Meg, she looked like the frickin' Slimer from Ghostbusters. Rain will do that to people. Besides, the rain I prefer is the purple ninja from Mortal Kombat. He's kickass. But rain in real life is crappy. It's unavoidable than your usual STD and Herpes combined. Mix that together, and believe me, it's enough to make your p***s cringe. And that's why rain grinds my gears.

* * *

**I can't stand rain either. It's such a buzzkill.  
**

**So, have any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	187. Peter on We Bare Bears

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 187: Peter on We Bare Bears  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? The show We Bare Bears on Cartoon Network. It's just a grizzly bear, a polar bear and panda bear going on adventures. So far, I got nothing special to say about it, except for the fact that they're stacked together when they frickin' walk. How is Panda having to carry Grizz and Ice on his shoulders. He's like the strongest son of a bitch you could ever find? I swear, that bear can carry a frickin' house. I tried doing the same thing in real life, and I threw out my back. I had to move like a turtle for a frickin' week! So far, We Bare Bears sucks bear-y bad, and it grinds my gears. Only Winnie The Pooh is way better, and it has Tigger. That dude is higher than drugged up Michael Jordan."

* * *

**Eh, I kinda like We Bare Bears myself. I'm not afraid to admit it.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	188. Peter on Rusev

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 188: Peter on Rusev  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? That f**king Russian crybaby named Rusev. If you don't know who he is, he was this destructive monster in WWE who lives by the mantra 'Rusev Crush'. And he went undefeated for a whole frickin' year. That was until John Cena beat his ass at WrestleMania, which is not a gay sex pun, just to let you know. He got frickin' buried from that loss. Now, Lana broke up with his ass, just to be with Dolph Ziggler, which is awesome by the way. So where's Rusev now? He's now licking his wounds with that commie lover known as Summer Rae. Lana and Ziggler deserve each other, so go cry in your vodka, Rusev. That's right, I'm a huge Zigglana shipper. You don't like that, Rusev? Well, eat my ass nice and tight. So far, Rusev grinds my gears.

* * *

**'MERICA ALL THE WAY, PETER!  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	189. Peter on School

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 189: Peter on School  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? When we have to go to school! Are you serious? Going to school is nothing but a total buzzkill! It's nothing but learning this and that! And those pop quizzes come out of nowhere like a whore with herpes. You wanna know where you need learning? Television, my friend. They have all the information you need. My advice? We should all ban school, period. Well, maybe the French could have school since they're better at crummy ice skating, baking bread, and losing wars. Maybe that's their style. And that's why school grinds my gears.

* * *

**Tell me about it, Peter. At least I graduated eight years ago.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	190. Peter on Memes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 190: Peter on Memes  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? Memes. From what I heard, it's suddenly an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. I don't understand the point. It's just pictures from TV shows with words attached to it in big bold white letters, as if it was funny. And yet I just don't frickin' see what's so funny about it. I rather watch a Youtube video where someone tries to light a fart on fire but instead they bleed out of their bum. I rather look at a picture of a girl trying to lick her own butt bent over. Those things make me laugh way more than memes. Memes is something I can't explain myself and that's why it grinds my gears.

* * *

**Yeah, I never understood what they are either. It's a topic which cannot be explained.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	191. Peter on Cat Videos

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 191: Peter on Cat Videos  
**

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"You know what really grinds my gears? When somebody puts up a frickin' cat video on YouTube. Yeah, we all know they're cute whenever they have to reach the doorbell, chase a red light, or play f**king peekaboo with them, but do they really have to shove that kind of crap in our faces? Like I said, we all know it's cute, so quit bothering the hell out of us! You wanna know what's really funny on YouTube? Someone getting a chainsaw to the groin or perhaps someone making a milkshake with their ass. That's really funny stuff there. But cat videos is definitely not one of them, and that's why it grinds my gears.

* * *

**Tell it like it is, fat man!  
**

**Have more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	192. Peter on Cell Phones

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 192: Peter on Cell Phones  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Frickin' cell phones. It's a phone that's so frickin' tiny? Have you seen them lately? My hand is bigger than that son of a bitch! It's even small enough to even fit under your pocket! If you ask me, I actually prefer phones that are bigger than my hand! I don't have to sit all night having to hear "Gangnam Style" through my phone while taking a crap the size of my daughter. Because of that incident, I suffered two ruptured eardrums all because I had to hear a frickin ringtone from Korea bleed my ears all the way down to my ass! Cell Phones are nothing but Satan's butthole and it grinds my gears.

* * *

**Eh, I think they're cool, Peter. Quite an improvement.  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	193. Peter on Nikki Bella

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 193: Peter on Nikki Bella  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Nikki Bella. If you're not familiar with that annoying grapenut, then you may be watching WWE. She's actually one-half of the Bella Twins with her twin-sister Brie. And as you already may noticed, she surpassed AJ Lee's record for being the longest-reigning Diva's champion of both this decade and in WWE history. If there's any reaction to this at all, I have to say that it's just f***ing bulls**t! The only reason why she's now the longest reigning champion was all because of her f***ing sister and that black psycho bitch. I'm telling ya, this twin magic s**t is starting to get really old. I feel like Nikki still hadn't proved herself worthy. If I was her, I'd ditch her sister and that whiny little baby behind and go solo. But no, she just happens to be like Seth Rollins, always having to win f***ing dirty. I hope she f***ing retires when she loses that title. I'd rather have a retarded monkey or perhaps Charlotte become the new Divas Champion. Although I can never tell how a monkey with an IQ the size of a tiny dot of salt could become a Divas Champion. And that's why Nikki Bells grinds my mother-f***ing gears.

* * *

**To tell you the truth, I liked AJ Lee better than Nikki Bella. She was a better Divas champion.  
**

**Have more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	194. Peter on Teddy Bears

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 194: Peter on Teddy Bears  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Those f**king teddy bears that look so cute and cuddly whenever you look at them. It's like they're hypnotizing you, asking you to buy us. Like I'm really gonna get caught in that cute bulls**t. You wanna know what's really cute: Girls. Hot beautiful girls that you can stare at, not these little s**t-colored animals that would hug you. I mean, they f***ing wipe their asses with Charmin, yet it's something I don't want to see! And that's why teddy bears, especially the ones that wipe their butts, grinds my gears!

* * *

**I agree on Peter himself. That Charmin commercial definitely haunted me for life.  
**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	195. Peter on Canadians

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 195: Peter on Canadians  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Them damn Canadians! They talk so weird, it sounds like Gonzo from The Muppets having sex with Sarah Palin. And the way they're obsessed with maple syrup, hockey, Canada Dry ginger ale, the Total Drama series on TV, and steroid-taking wrestlers is actually weird. It's like their somehow-twisted versions of American pastimes. It makes me sound so retarded. I'm pretty sure every Canadian sounds retarded right now. Get a little smarter, people of Canada. That's why you grind my gears."

* * *

**Shame on you Peter for trashing Canada. I actually like the Total Drama series to be honest.  
**

**Have more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, fans! :D**


	196. Peter on John Cena Revisited

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 196: Peter on John Cena Revisited  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears again? WWE's ass-kisser known as John Cena. I can't stand how the company decides to shove him in our faces. Yes, we all know he's a 15-time WWE Champion, a 4-time United States Champion, and not to leave out accomplished actor (take note, _Trainwreck_). So why does he grind my gears once more? It's simple. It reminds me of Fruity Pebbles. I don't like Fruity Pebbles! I'm a Cocoa Pebbles man myself, because you turn the milk into chocolate milk. Plus, it reminds me more like Mark Henry. I like Mark Henry. But John Cena grinds my gears."

* * *

**I don't know why people are hating on John Cena. I think he's awesome.  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are welcome, fans! :D**


	197. Peter on Butters's Parents

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 197: Peter on Butters' Parents  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Butters' Parents on the cartoon South Park. I think one of them is named Larry and the other Stephanie, I think? Who knows, I haven't been watching must of the show to begin with? Anyway, what's up with them all of a sudden? His father's bi-curious and his mother is nothing more but an insane psycho-bitch. Worst of all, they always ground their son of something Butters didn't even possibly do. What in the hell did Butters ever do to get grounded? TELL ME! Anyway, I wish someone would take Butters out of his house and into someone else's. Maybe he could try my house. I heard the Evil Monkey moving back in Chris's closet is willing to make some friends. To be honest, Butters's parents grinds my gears."

* * *

**Totally, Peter. I feel bad for the kid, myself.  
**

**Have any more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, homies! :D**


	198. Peter on Green Bay Packers

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 198: Peter on Green Bay Packers  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Those damn Green Bay Packers! Why do I hate them? It's not because they develop awesome quarterbacks like Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers. It's not because they developed one of the greatest coaches ever in the history of the sport. And it's not because they made Clay Matthews III into a household name, which I call him CM3 to be honest. So how come the Packers grinds my gears? It's simple. It's because the New England Patriots got robbed at Super Bowl 31! I still haven't gotten over the fact that Brett Favre decided to take a huge steaming crap on the Patriots! And I love my Patriots! It's a good thing he retired, otherwise I would have gotten a Packer helmet, a jersey with his number on it, roll it into a ball and shove it deep down his ass. Consider yourself lucky, Brett Favre. Maybe I should save the ass-stuffing part for that cheater, Tom Brady. And that's why the Green Bay Packers grinds my gears."

* * *

**I'll tell ya, Peter definitely pissed those cheeseheads off. I wouldn't be standing here where you're are buddy. (Truth be told, I love the Packers.)  
**

**Got more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, homies! :D**


	199. Peter on Tom Brady

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**P.S.: Thanks for passing through 1,200 reviews! My thanks to you!**

* * *

**Chapter 199: Peter on Tom Brady  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That motherf***in' cheater in football today, Tom Brady. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: 'How dare you pick on Tom Brady and the New England Patriots! They're your team!'. The truth is, I'm not trashing the Patriots! I mean, they are my team until the day I die. I mean, they're the frickin four-time Super Bowl Champions. So, why would I be trashing on Tom Brady? It isn't because he's got a much hotter wife. It isn't because he's good looking. And it isn't even that cheap-ass smug he displays during games. The reason he grinds my gears is this: He reminds me of the f***ing Brady Bunch. I hate the Bradys, just like I hate Tom Brady! I wish I could throw a football at him and break his f***ing nose! That way Jan Brady would quit f***ing complaining. And that's why Tom G****mn motherf***ing Brady grinds my gears!"

* * *

**If I said it before, I'll say it again: The Seahawks got robbed. Plain and simple.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, homies! :D**


	200. Peter on 200

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 200: Peter on 200  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The number 200. What's up with that number? Is it how many times Richard Petty had won lots of NASCAR Cup Series races? Is it about the forgotten _200 Cigarettes_ movie from 1999? Is that how many miles a car goes? Is 200 exactly the episodes that I've done from this series? What the f**k does it mean? I'll tell ya what it means? Absolutely g****mn nothing. It can't be explained at all, just like Memes, anniversaries, that annoying troll face, and Lindsay Lohan taking a f**king s**t in a cowboy boot. Although, I'm not sure that didn't really happen yet. Anyway, 200 is unexplainable and it really grinds my gears!"

* * *

**You said it, Pete. 200 is definitely a long way for episodes let me tell ya.  
**

**Got any more topics for the fatman himself? You know what to do, homies! :D**


	201. Peter on Ice Skating

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 201: Peter on Ice Skating  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That f***ing insult known as Ice Skating. It's like walking on frickin' ice. Where these people retarded when they made this sport. All you do is slide on ice and that's frickin' it! Worse enough, you spin like like you're gonna get sick. Have you ever seen Yamaguchi, Lipinski, Kerrigan, Lysacek or Weir throw up on ice while attempting a quad axel. It's nothing but frickin' motion sickness. Ice skating should never be allowed on this earth period. I'll only enjoy it if it's hockey, because that way you can beat the s**t out of someone over a puck. Just like I plan to beat up those wussy ice-skaters. Anyway, ice skating sucks and it grinds my gears!"

* * *

**Tell it like it is, fat man.  
**

**Have more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, bros! :D**


	202. Peter on Opera

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 202: Peter on Opera  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? When I have to hear that f***ing Opera music all day. It's just a fat woman screaming incoherently! It definitely doesn't sound like singing that's for sure! If I wanna hear singing, I wanna hear Kiss or Aerosmith, anything but Opera! I guess if I have to say one good thing about Opera, at least it's better than that piss-ass Justin Bieber. That still doesn't change the fact that it sucks baby eggs. If you ever seen baby eggs, then you might say it's a horrible thing to see than pre-mature childbirth. And that's why Opera grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree with Peter. Opera sucks ass.**

**Got more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, bros! :D**


	203. Peter on Hot Dogs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 203: Peter on Hot Dogs  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Frickin' hot dogs! We're talking about someone's dog p***s on bread. And it frickin' tastes like pork. I don't think it smells like that in the first place. If you ask me, they taste like solid pink puke. That's the kind of food that the Japanese love. It's no wonder why that country always wins the hot dog eating contest every frickin year! Do yourself a favor Japan, and keep your solid pink puke in your pants. There's no need to wave it at our faces. And that's why hot dogs grinds my gears."

* * *

**You see, Peter, this is why I'm a hamburger man.**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are welcome, playas!**


	204. Peter on the Halloween Whopper

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 204: Peter on the Halloween Whopper  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The Halloween Whopper down at Burger King. It's like a whopper, except the frickin' buns are black. Seriously, it's like someone broke into Burger King headquarters, took the sesame seed buns used to make Whoppers and rubbed them with mold. Or perhaps someone rubbed them with old charcoal that made it look black in the first place. Or better yet, it's like Whopper had gone 'blackface' on everybody. The Halloween Whopper is one racist sandwich for sure. And if I'd eaten it, there would be a whole lot of racial tension around the U.S. If that happened, there wouldn't be any hot white women sleeping with the black men down at that Brazzers website. My advice to Burger King: Stick to regular Whoppers, because the racist ungodly Halloween Whopper grinds my gears."

* * *

**Eh, I don't know, I'll try it for myself if I could.  
**

**Have any more topics for the fatman himself? You know what to do, playas!**


	205. Peter on Dogs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 205: Peter on Dogs  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Those f***ing annoying dogs! I mean, what the hell? They bark, they lick, and their poop smells like the inside of Rob Ford's pits. Well, not unlike Brian though, he's more of a libertarian dog. They do stuff us humans normally do, but with no pants. Did I mention about their bark. They bark so loudly, it gives you f****ng migrains! So far, I'm still on my seventh month of medication. If I keep on taking it, I'll have less chances of having brain cancer. Anyway, dogs (except Brian) are annoying and they grind my gears."

* * *

**is it weird that I never wanted a pet in the first place, yet I have four dogs?  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, my playas!**


	206. Peter on Brian

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 206: Peter on Brian  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Our dog, Brian. I already know I did a subject on dogs, but this time, I wanna do a subject based on our dog only. Is the way he reads The Wall Street Journal? Is it because he's willing to hump someone leg just to get a dry martini? It's not those two mentioned. So why does Brian grinds my gears? It's simple. He forgot to f***in' put the seat down in the bathoom. What the hell, Brian? And that's why Brian grinds my gears."

* * *

**There's Peter telling it like it is!**

**Have more topics for the fatman himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, my playas!**


	207. Peter on NASCAR

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 207: Peter on NASCAR  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? When you have to watch NASCAR non-stop. It's already boring having to watch cars race around a circle while getting motion sickness. So far, I've frickin' threw up for the fourth time watching Daytona 500. And it was on my wife. She smelled like beer, cheese and steak. That of course, if it was spoiled. I rather watch Double Dare because it's fun, messy and it doesn't make you throw up. NASCAR isn't fun because it just wasn't the same without Dale Earnhardt. If he saw NASCAR what it was today, I'm certain he'd throw up. May he rest in peace. Anyway, NASCAR grinds my gears."

* * *

**I agree. Earnhardt will always be the best driver ever. No doubt about it.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, playas! Anyway, don't forget to wish me a happy 27th birthday! WHOO-HOO!  
**


	208. Peter on Butter

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 208: Peter on Butter  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? Frickin' butter. It's like taking a huge block of salt and painting it bright yellow. I'm telling you, both butter and salt are the same damn thing. At least have one or the other. You can't have both at the same thing, considering it tastes like f***in' sodium. At least we'd still have pepper. That's perhaps the only coolest condiment of them all. You can even put pepper on a frickin' baked potato! How cool is that? F**k butter and f**k salt too. They all grind my gears."

* * *

**I don't know, I like both salt and butter. Doesn't hurt me none.  
**

**Have more topics for the fat man himself? Feedbacks are appreciated, homies!  
**


	209. Peter on Lindsay Lohan

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 209: Peter on Lindsay Lohan  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That g****mn motherf***ing bitch Lindsay Lohan. She really needs to f**k off because's she not worth doing a topic about. Need I say anymore? Anyway, Lindsay Lohan grinds my gears."

* * *

**Yeah, I don't know how her career could get worse from here. She's like the female Pauly Shore.  
**

**Got more topics for Peter himself? You know what to do, homies!  
**


	210. Peter on Pig Goat Banana Cricket

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 210: Peter on Pig Goat Banana Cricket  
**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? That irritating piece of pig-s**t known as Pig Goat Banana Cricket on Nickelodeon. I don't understand what the f**k this show is all about. I guess claiming the title, it assumes to be a show about a pig, a goat, a banana and a cricket, and they go on adventures. It's a waste of my f*****g time if you ask me. Who would want to see rejected cartoon characters from the 1930's in a cartoon that was made in the 2010's? I know I wouldn't. In fact, if I had four words for what I think should be the new title of this show, it would be called 'Bulls**t, Dogs**t, Diarrhea, F**kballs'. And that's how much I feel about the excruicating piece of s**t-puke known as Pig Goat Banana Cricket. I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears."

* * *

**To be honest, I never really saw the show either. Not my cup of tea anyway.**

**Have more topics for the fat man himself? You know what to do, my bros!  
**


	211. Peter on Sheamus

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 211: Peter on Sheamus**

* * *

"You know what really grinds my gears? The stupid chicken/viking hybrid from the WWE known entirely as Sheamus. When he came in the WWE, he was the spiky-haired Celtic Warrior. Now seven half-assed years later, he now looks like Foghorn Leghorn's twin brother with horribly bad facial hair. And the way he took that WWE title from Roman Reigns at Survivor Series was just f***ing bulls**t. Roman deserved that f***ing title after being screwed so damn much! That's the reason why this humanoid chicken as champion is making RAW lose viewers. The fans would rather see someone else become champion, like Roman Reigns, or Dean Ambrose, or maybe the midget kid with Down Syndrome that lives across the street. He would make a better champion than Lame-Ass anyday. Although I will give the devil it's due: Sheamus doesn't look stupid. In fact, he looks g****mn motherf***in' retarded. And that's why Sheamus grinds my motherf***in' gears."

* * *

**I agree with you on that last part, Pete. Roman Reigns deserves better than this!**

**Anyway, got more topics for the fatman himself? You know what to do, homies! Believe that.**


End file.
